5 Ways to Teach Children Patience, Dammit!

waystoteachpatience

There are certain times of the year, when stress levels sky-rocket, leaving parents tense, agitated and inebriated after their kids’ bedtime. This is not a new concept. Holiday stressors are the highest on the list: mounting blood pressure, gastric maladies, and what some medical experts call “hide-in-a-dark-closet-in-the-fetal-position-until-New-Years” disorder. Since we have approximately 91 days until Thanksgiving - AND school is starting for many parents, I'm sharing from my experience as an old “blonde” mother, with a temper and mild memory loss how I get through these trying times. These tips have been essential in educating my two grade school-aged daughters the life skill of learning patience. 1. When driving next to men working street construction; make sure to ... [ Read More ]

Professional Teeth Whitening at Home Works

smilebrilliant-teeth-whitening-kit

(This is a sponsored post by the fabulous folks at Smile Brilliant! Even though I was given the products in return for this critique, I am shooting straight from the hip and offering you my true opinion as always.) Many years ago, after I had kids and sleep became an optional sport; I decided to treat myself to something nice. One day when waiting for my dental hygienist to return to the room after x-rays, I bided my time by reading wall literature. Next to the sign warning me not to swish with a certain brand of mouthwash because it might turn my teeth purple…or black - can’t remember the details due to the sleep deprivation - was my answer to pampering this disheveled new mom. Teeth whitening! I got the information, talked it over with my husband (I think) and signed up to ... [ Read More ]

Toddlers High Risk for Hand, Foot and Mouth

HFM

If you have a child from the age of 1-4, welcome to the summer and the season of Hand, Foot and Mouth disease! This virus affects mostly toddlers, but is not limited to the age group. You ask, “How many body parts? And how are these connected? And isn’t that a livestock infestation?” Well, the answers are: “Three. Don’t know. And no that's 'Hoof and Mouth' disease, which is unrelated.” So despite what your Great Aunt Eunie tells you, you cannot catch HFM from the petting zoo! This disease is not bacterial and highly contagious; which means no medications will cure it. You and your family will have to wait it out and treat the painful individual symptoms, to ensure your child will eat, drink and sleep. From presentation of the first symptoms to the end, this condition normally ... [ Read More ]

My Kids and a Bucket List Begs for Epic Fail!

Metal painting Pail isolated on white, (clipping work path included).

(posted August 9, 14 in KC Star) When a woman reaches a certain age, it’s often difficult to find quality bonding moments with your parents. Life seems to get in the way. On the proverbial tree of life, it’s necessary for all children to break loose from their parent’s limb so their hands are free to grasp their new role in life. Like generations before, as a teen I pushed my parents away. However, in college I returned home for holidays and eventually began to appreciate our quirky family traditions. One Fourth of July, my parents discovered off the beaten path, a farmers’ field with a sign announcing its fireworks stand. This was the first year they had a special addition to their seasonal business. It was 15 years ago, so we didn’t spend high dollar on private firework shows; ... [ Read More ]

When is the Best Time for a Mom to Join the Circus?

circusphoto

Many moons ago, when I was traveling with Ft. Worth's Shakespeare-in-the-Park production of "A Christmas Carol," my life was screwed up quite different. Every night the crew and cast would finish our stage performance in a gorgeous theater, climb aboard our double-decker bus, and then return to that night's hotel...bar. It's difficult to calm down after the adrenaline needed to sing, act and dance in front of thousands. So the hotel bar was a place where we could have seven two drinks, talk shop and wind down. It usually worked. Then as we were passed out asleep in our lovely 2-star hotel, we would barely awake to the honk of the bus beckoning us to pack up and get the hell out of Dodge...or Hope, AR. In our jammies or sweats, we would climb back onto the bus and sleep until the ... [ Read More ]

I’m Done With Glamour: Releasing my Inner Tomboy

myinnertomboy

Since I began writing several years ago, I don’t get out of the house as often as I used to. My office is in my home, and after I shuttle the munchkins around to camps, friends’ houses and extra-curricular events, the last thing the munchkins and I want to do is go hang out in public. There's no place like home. Not only are my husband and I both homebodies, but our girls seem to appreciate our time together within our castle walls. We entertain each other well most of the time. There are times when I get to meet a friend for lunch or meet the ladies out for cocktails and laughs, but those occasions are few and far between. This morning as I sat off-screen, awaiting my TV interview to promote my latest book, “I Just Want to Be Alone;” I had an epiphany. All scrunched up in my Spanx, ... [ Read More ]

Car Wash Phobias on the Rise Due to Increased Damages

After reading a blog post the other day, my blog pals, Ashley and Lisa from The Dose of Reality listed their phobias - just for spits and giggles. It reminded me of this post I had written several years ago. This is dedicated to my hilarious friend Lisa... (This post originally ran on NML on 2/24/11) As I sit down to write, I wonder how this will be funny when I am so incredibly ticked. I not only have such a full schedule of filling drinks and snack bowls, re-dressing Polly Pockets, taxes to organize, a plethora of inane questions to answer for the 15 millionth time, a house to clean, more meals to fix, and large vats of Diet Coke to ingest that I seriously don’t have a free moment. So I'm saying to hell with it all and parking my exhausted tail today in front of the laptop. This ... [ Read More ]

Anxious Parents Make for Anxious Children – tricks to let it go

Photo provided by Disney.

For as long as I can remember, I have been riddled with anxiety. On the playground, I studied my tennis shoes with hopes I wouldn’t be chosen for kickball. I sweated in the 40-degree weather with fear that my face would resemble a pug dog after one swift kick to my noggin. Dodge Ball boosted my worries in middle school gym class. I cowered in the back corners pleading to get hit in the shoes because the other kids might not have a strong enough arm to reach me. Please let me stay on the sidelines! I waited until sixteen before I passed my drivers’ permit. Even though all my friends had their learner permits at 14 years-old, my parents had to physically force me to get behind the wheel. Why did I think I wouldn’t be able to do it? My wild imagination took over - and this was ... [ Read More ]

Prenatal Chiropractor Speeds up Labor and Reduces Painful Labor

New_Align_logo

Even though this is a sponsored post, all of my opinions and bad jokes are my own. Last year when Jen, from the blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat, and I were hosting a book signing in Kansas City; I met the sunshiniest gal. Not only did this human light source make me feel better while briefly talking to her, but she told me about her job, where she can daily provide support and understanding for her patients. PLUS, her name is Dr. Shine!! Coincidence? I think.not. Dr. Kezia Shine, is a prenatal and womens’ health Chiropractor. As a registered nurse, I was surprised I had never heard of this specialty. However, there are several other practices in KC who do the same thing. I can only assume they don’t provide as much love and sincerity as this gal. Align, ... [ Read More ]

Milk anything? Udderly impossible!

GOAT MILK?

THE KANSAS CITY STAR (July 12, 2014) BY STACEY HATTON Summertime is a perfect time to chat with friends at the pool while your children work off some energy by sending waves into each other’s faces. Mom topics are diverse, but when someone asked, “Can anything with nipples be milked?” some serious research was in order. As a nurse, lactation is something I have studied and experienced first hand, but never had this question come up. So when choosing another adventure for my goofy Bucket List, I decided to prove my hypothesis: Only females can produce nourishment via milking. Don’t worry, I didn’t poll scantily clad sun worshippers at the pool. That would be tacky. Instead I called our local goat farm, Landeria Farm, and asked if I could participate in their morning ... [ Read More ]

Are You Kidding Me? My Life With An Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives

Gustafson_Cover_FRONT_72dpi

Every two years, I am blessed to attend the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. At this conference I meet so many hilarious women (and a few gents) who temporarily strengthen my abs by making me laugh until I feel as if I’ve just completed a Zumba class. Minus the throbbing thighs and glutes. At my first Erma conference in 2012, I briefly met another humor writer, Stacey Gustafson. Throughout my life I have only met a handful of Stacey’s with an “e-y,” so I knew immediately she was good people. So when she asked that I share with you her new book coming out this fall I gladly agreed. Not only does it do another talented writer a favor, but you have the opportunity to know of another good book. Granted I haven’t read it yet, but from following her blog called, Are You Kidding Me? I ... [ Read More ]