From Thanksgiving to New Years, it seems that every year gets more stressful. I know I said I was going to get the holiday cards out early this year like my one friend who I am totally jealous of because she is brilliant with time management and has her cards all signed and stamped by the time the red button on the turkey pops out.
This year, I yelled at the turkey button, jimmy-ed it with a sharp knife hoping that it was stuck so I could take the “stupid bird” out of the ONE oven which I intentionally decided to have (last house had 2…little spoiled, and regretting the decision to act like the rest of the free world). Note to self: Don’t invite 15 family members over 2 hours before meal is being served. They will ALL want to use your ONE stupid little tiny oven that you chose to have and that is where the turkey the size of the country by the same name is housed. But enough of that…
So how is your holiday shopping going? (pause) You’re done, are you?! How NICE for you! I am taking a 15 minute pause from my Christmas-ball-busting online shopping trip extravaganza to relax and vent!! No waiting in line for me. No shipping costs. No one trying to grab my purse in the parking lot at the mall…no sirree!!! I’m living large on Paypal and plastic. Can’t wait for that bill next month, but this way I am getting absolutely NO exercise and carpal tunnel in one fell swoop! I. Love. America.
I am also looking forward to when my children will actually tell people what they want for Christmas presents. Don’t most kids do this? I know I could rattle off a list to anyone who asked. In the grocery store, a nice elderly woman asked me, “Is Santa coming to your house this year, little girl?” “Yes, he is bringing me a Grow-up Skipper, a Baby Pees a Lot, an Easy Bake Oven….” That’s how it’s DONE!!!
How can my kids not know what they want? You’re probably thinking, “They have too much.” Which wouldn’t be too far off because it goes hand-in-hand with children who have birthdays right before Christmas. When my kid says, “Oh, Grandma doesn’t haven’t to give me anything. I can’t really think of anything I want.” Oh, yeah…let me tell Grandma that she can punt on Christmas this year. That will go over well!!
Well, my fifteen minutes are up, so I have to get back to shopping to make my December 18th delivery deadline!
Moment of reflection…I am a big whining schmoe. Sorry for the pity party when there are people out there who are robbing donut stores to get money to pay for food, heat and a roof over their heads. This actually happened here in town and guess what happened, the police that were in the parking lot, jumped the guy. If it weren’t so terribly sad, irony of the situation would be fodder for oh, so many jokes. Blessings to all those out there in need!!