My Cat Has Fallen and Broken Her Hip and Needs an Alert Button

IMG_2134I have discovered a trait of mine that is not flattering. Shocking, I know.

Whenever a child of mine falls ill, I end up allowing them to eat junk food, and with that said – most of the wicked, wicked comfort food makes it into MY mouth before it hits their sick tray. Why if I know I’m doing this, don’t I stop?! Let me open up a box of Wheat Thins and ponder that…

When I have little control over a situation is when I seem to be at my worst. The fat old “Carb Fairy” swirls around my cart at the grocery throwing in temptations when I’m not focused. Cookies, Doritos, Fudge bars, Macaroni and Cheese. Junk that rarely makes an appearance in our house. I’m buying that food to make them feel better, but it’s never healthy for them or me.

But I’m here to tell you, that evil nymph broke into to my house again with a vat of Cookie Dough ice cream last week and that sucker lasted less than 24 hours. Clarification: I did not inhale the entire gallon alone.

For those of you who might be new to my blog, (Hiya! Glad you’re here.) at the beginning of July 2013 our family purchased two darling kittens from a shelter. My daughters, Munchkin #1 and #2, fell instantly in love but became attached to the one we named Jazzy. This cat appeared to be more jazzed up the first day when we were naming them, plus her white paws looked liked jazz hands. Can you say nerdo theatre gal?

The next morning, without any warning, Jazzy decided to perform a double back off the one-story landing onto the bottom stairs of the staircase. Since I was in the next room, I sprinted after hearing a thud of that seismic strength. There was the 2 month-old kitty weaving into the family room and shaking her head as if a linebacker had just rung her bell.

Unfortunately, Jazzy never was the same, her health declined severely, and she had to leave our home. My daughters were furious and blamed me for the cats head injury (they are 6 and 7) and said they would never forgive me.
My children are overly dramatic, so I figured – give it a couple weeks and they would warm up to the other cat and we could move forward.

One month later…


What the heck is that? Sounded just like when Jazzy…

Oh, yes. All three of the veterinarians we visited said it is unheard of for a cat to fall off a one-story landing onto the stairs below.


Meet Cali. I wrote about her a few weeks ago. If you missed it, go ahead and check out her weirdness. I’ll wait…

A beautiful calico cat who is quirky and on a daily basis likes to mimic breastfeeding on a humans t-shirt. She is odd, but who are we to judge? We aren’t exactly related to “The Beave” or the Bradys.

But now we have had TWO kittens doing something which is unheard of in feline veterinary medicine; so I’m thinking if the shelter gets word of this, they are going to assign me a case worker and write me up for an alleged boot to the puss.

Fast forward to when the urge to start over-eating occurred.

“Mrs. Hatton? From Cali’s x-rays, it appears she has fractured her hip,” apologized the Vet over the phone.

Grabbing a spoon and heading to the freezer, “She broke her hip? She’s just a kitten not an old lady,” I laughed. I tend to make really lame jokes when I am given bad medical news.

The Vet continued, “It looks as if surgery is the only way to save this joint since it’s a clean break at the head of the bone.”

My head started whirling, my gut began churning and I was craving chocolate awful fierce. If we didn’t save this kitten, life was going to be hell on earth. Or worse…my husband and I might have to sleep with one eye open. The munchkins would lose it!

I know! I hear you through the screen. Stacey, who’s the parent in this scenario? We are, but sometimes humans (even little ones) can be pushed over the brink and go on crazy parental killing sprees because too many of their beloved kitties were sent off to the “farm.”
We weren’t willing to sacrifice our lives for a silly pet.

Plus, I kind of liked Cali. While the munchkins had been at school, Cali would climb up on my desk and sit right near my computer, soaking up the warmth and keeping me company.

I called her my writing “mews.”

After discussing the surgery in great depth, and deciding the odds of one munchkin getting a college scholarship was a possibility which we were willing to risk; I called back the Vet and said we would pay the ridiculously high amount of…


Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry,
When I take you out in the surry.
When I take you out in the surry
With the fringe on top.

Where was I? Oh, yes…the Middle East and how in Veterinary school they learn to manipulate camels. Isn’t that interesting? They often get injured due to their awkward gate across the unsteady terrain.**

Have you ever seen a camel up close?

Have you ever seen a camel up close?

So we got Cali’s hip fixed, and she is hobbling along much better two days later. The Vet said we were to keep her from jumping up on anything for 3 weeks. I’m sure that will be easy. NOT! But after all the dough we spent on this kitten, we HAVE to keep her protected.

Anybody checked Craigslist to see if a “Huge hamster ball” is for sale?

**No facts have been checked on camel injuries. Could be totally wrong on this. Check it yourself if you’re interested, and let me know what you find out! Love to hear from you on Facebook or in the comments. I prefer chatty readers.


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44 thoughts on “My Cat Has Fallen and Broken Her Hip and Needs an Alert Button

  1. Maureen, us lammo jokesters have to stick together. No one else in the world understands our brilliance. Except the Dose Girls, which is why I am so close with them. We are all the same. Yes, all the same. Hey if you want, join me on my facebook page and then we can keep up with each other. I’ll “like” you back. 🙂 Have a great day! Stacey

  2. Heather!!! My KCMO pal, how are ya? How’s it hanging in big Missourah? So far away, yet so close. It’s always fun to meet the local bloggers and I hope you will keep in touch. I went over to your blog and it is delightful. I love that photo you used for the header…gorgeous. Take care and talk with you soon! Stacey

  3. I’m so glad the Dose Girls sent you over too! Hi there, and welcome. So you have “special” pets too. Oh, we should form a club and take pictures of them and have cute little saying with the photos. It would be so innovative, it would be…Facebook. HAAA!! Just kidding. My cat, bless her stinkin’ heart, is here to stay and it’s nice to meet other tender hearted people. I sure hope you come back. Stacey

  4. Oh my gosh you had me in stitches: “Grabbing a spoon and heading to the freezer,…” Came over from The Dose Girls and I’m glad I didn’t skip it. Can’t wait to look around a bit.

  5. The Dose girls sent me over here and I am glad they did. I am certain you have found yourself in the field of special animal life. As one who has been dealt the same hand let me explain. Our animals have that one or forty little quirks that make them ohhh special. wink wink. You know what I mean. It is always an adventure. Let’s just say that we have dogs that are certain they are people… and cats welll the cats they are a whole other story.

  6. OMG, nothing better than stepping in one of those in the middle of the night? Right! We had a cat that hacked up hairballs all the day long and when he got old we had to give him a gross smelling laxative to help them slide out better. Talk about giving and giving! Yikes. So glad to meet you and I hope you come back.

  7. Are you trying to kill me here?! EVERY month? We would have to take out a 2nd mortgage at that rate. I can’t imagine how you survived it. I hope your dog is a little cheaper now!

  8. Jen, I know some of my dog friends (that sounds bad) couldn’t understand why we were putting so much money into a cat. Thanks for stopping by!

  9. Okay, this made me giggle. Aren’t cats fun? We just have one. His issue is that he loves to spew fur balls all over the carpet.

  10. Hoping your kitty heals well and you incur no more ridiculously high vet fees… We have so been there! Our first year with our dog, when she was a pup, she was at the vet EVERY month. Seriously.

  11. OMG!! I would have been so ticked to not know the other one was going to rip too. I would have put the dog in a bubble for the rest of its life! LOL!! And of course there is only one doc in Maine to do it. He probably had to squeeze it in between his lobster spinal taps and rhino episiotomies. Very weird. You wouldn’t think it would be such a difficult procedure! Guess you got lucky!! HA!

  12. Thanks so much for coming over and chattin’ me up, KG! Lots of weird stuff always going on around my house so I am never without material. Hope you come back. Would love to see you!!

  13. Hilarious! One of my Siberian huskies got excited for the first snow one year and tore his doggy ACL. He was still young so we opted for the surgery. Then, not one year later, he tore the second one! The Vet neglected to tell us that once they tear one, the other follows. Did I mention there’s only one doctor in Maine who can perform this surgery? Yeah. I need to eat just thinking about it.

  14. OK, so you ran your cat over with your car? Was this before or after she tried to eat your child’s face? Didn’t know if there was some pent up anger! 🙂 HA!!! Thank goodness your cat and my cat don’t run in the same circles. I think they would totally be trouble together when they are teenagers. I’m going to head over to read your vampire kitty piece. I’m afraid I might not be able to sleep though tonight…”be brave, be brave…” LOL!

  15. OK, this is hilarious. Partially because I have PLENTY of my own cat stories! My cat is one of a kind too, and although I have run over her with my car, and she has been trapped in the TOP of the garage door, I have yet to fork out any money for surgery. She’s 5 now…so she’s starting to tame a bit since the horrific “incident” which was when she tried to bite my child’s face off.

    So, yeah. I can relate. 🙂 I’ve thought about hiring a pet psychologist, but I know what they would say…it’s obviously something I’m doing wrong. sigh. Cat problems. What can you do?

  16. Oh, Kelly. I luff you!! You are MY kind of people. I loved going from the Middle East to your children to dogs eating school projects almost in once sentence. I totally get that. And no what is Chapman’s Frozen yogurt? What is your favorite flavor if I’m to try it. Do you get it at the store or are they a franchise and no I don’t think you have onsetting… lol!! Thanks for visiting and PLEASE come back!!

  17. OK, a cat named Spooky is destined for that kind of story! LOL!! I know the haunting thud. I heard the first one, so when it happened again I knew immediately that it had happened with the other cat. You really have to all agree on the pet because who is going to be cleaning that litter box? That’s all I’m saying about that one!! Good luck and stay strong. 😉

  18. Ok – toddled over due to The Dose Girls invite. So glad I did. This is classic and you had me at “writing mews.”
    Thank you for fascinating look at the camel as well. I had no idea vets were required to study camel manipulation. Mind you that makes sense due to the Middle East’s unsteady landscape.
    I, too have two children close in age and with one now in first year and the other in second (how did that happen so fast?) that university scholarship came in mighty handy. One dog of ours worked through vast sums of cash with his fondness for eating papier mache school projects and rhododendron bushes …
    Sorry – off on a tangent. I’m sending Cali wishes for a speedy recovery.
    PS – have you tried Chapman’s Frozen yogourt? Heavenly …

  19. I know, right?! The only thing I can think of is that the edge of the landing has a wood base and it’s slippery and the kittens are acting like catnippers all the day long anyway, so BAM! It’s nice to see that I’m not the only sucker. I’m heading over to read your Shitty Kitties post. Those nails are a bitch!

  20. Ok – toddled over due to The Dose Girls invite. So glad I did. This is classic and you had me at “writing mews.”
    Thank you for fascinating look at the camel as well. I had no idea vets were required to study camel manipulation. Mind you that makes sense due to the Middle East’s unsteady landscape.
    I, too have two children close in age and with one now in first year and the other in second (how did that happen so fast?) that university scholarship would have come in mighty handy. One dog of ours worked through vast sums of cash with his fondness for eating papier mache school projects and rhododendron bushes …
    Sorry – off on a tangent. I’m sending Cali wishes for a speedy recovery.
    PS – have you tried Chapman’s Frozen yogourt? Heavenly …

  21. Kim, you are a smart woman. My Munchkins definitely were not ready for all this death and near death experiences within the first month of ownership. I barely could handle it. I should have called you. I’m blond. We’ll blame it on that!

  22. OH, NO!!! This might be genetic. You solved my problem. My mother kills all her house plants and at our last house we had 5 pets die. Granted they were old and each had cancer, but doesn’t this seem like a pattern? I’m scared to get another kitty now, Kendra. LOL!!!

  23. I hear ya, girl! Ann Marie why do we do that with the sick kids. Love em with sugar! I don’t blame you for giggling at ALL for the second cat doing it. After, I cursed it out like a sailor on crack, I found some compassion. My neighbors think there is a ghost in my house pushing animals off the ledge! HA!!

  24. LOL!! Liar!! Rather, sucker! Amy, I think if we hadn’t sent the first one up the river to the “farm”/aka gave her back to the pound (b/c of her brain damage), we wouldn’t have spent THAT much money. But the girls still are upset about it. They are drawing pictures of the first cat at school. THE GUILT!!

  25. Oh, NO!!! I can’t imagine 3 kittens at the same time. Just like having triplets your house would be trashed and you’ld be bald from pulling out all your hair. Our vet said if Cali tried to bite at her stitches we had to put one of those plastic coffee filter things around her head, and she of course pulled it off before we got home. They just don’t like to be messed with! Thanks for commenting. Nice to see your face over here!!

  26. This reminds me of my Aunt’s old cat, Spooky! As a baby, she jumped from the top of the second story condo onto the landing below. The thud was..haunting. From Spooky. She was actually ok but very shaken up. It never happened again.
    I’ve never had a cat and my daughter is begging for one daily and my husband wants to give in. I really don’t. I really, really don’t.

  27. Holy cow. That is cray-cray. What the hell is it about that landing of yours? Did you douse it in cat nip?

    I totally would have paid any amount of money for the surgery. I’m a sucker. I also had my own kitty learning curve when we were duped (it’s all my fault) into getting kitties by our kids. We went for one and wound up w/ 2 from the animal shelter. See: Shitty Kitties & The Great Kitty Claw Clipping of 2013. Did you know you have to clip their claws? Oh, yeah, nobody tells you that. Good luck.

  28. Oh no! Seems like you go through cats like I go through house plants! None are safe and I can’t be trusted. Perhaps a padded room for her? Might help with the crazy children too if the cat wont stay still? Lol! Loved the post! Hopefully the kitties suicide attempts are over for now.

  29. Aha! That explains the few pounds I just gained! I’ave had a sick kid here for three weeks in a row and I’m not going to lie…a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough did find its way into my fridge and then into my mouth plus the chocolate chip cookies that every sick kid needs to feel better. Your cat sounds like a riot. I laughed at the video. I admit, I’ve never seen a cat do that before. It’s wrong that I giggled a little at the second cat doing the same thing the first cat did, isn’t it?

  30. When we first got our kittens, they were roughhousing and one ended up with an injured paw…I took her to the vet and they wrapped it up, told me to keep her from doing anything for the next few days and she would be fine. We had 3 kittens at the time….do they ever rest?! She promptly ripped the wrapping off too.

  31. Thanks, Kathy. I’m sure we will get over the $$ a lot faster than the munchkins will get over the first kitty leaving our house. Argh!!

  32. I called her my writing “mews.” Very clever!!

    …and the entire piece was hilarious. Well, except for the $ and the fact that the first kitty obviously didn’t make it.

  33. You are a poet and you already know’d that you were good with rhymes. 🙂 You’re so nice, Dawn. I truly was afraid of my children.

  34. Oh, I love have the kitten. The company is fabulous except when she is licking me incessantly. You should get one too! Ask for a early weaner. (That sounds dirty!)

  35. Your “writing mews” is lucky to have “yous.”
    Did ya see what I did there?
    This is a hilarious, adorable piece, and what truly shines through is the funny, awesome, caring person you are.

  36. CRYING with laughter!! Oh my God, I react the EXACT.SAME.WAY. to stress…and my family is currently considering (ONLY considering) adding a cat to our family. So, this was exactly what I needed to read today…NOT! ;)-Ashley

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