Kids Wrecking My Perfect World

Three retro prime adult Caucasian females out on the town.When the munchkins were babies, I sought out friendships with other mothers in the neighborhood, at church, and…what am I talking about? I hardly had any friends with two girls only 14-months apart. Actually, if it weren’t for home videos, I wouldn’t remember being with my children, due to a severe case of Momnesia.

As my daughters attended preschool, my friendships changed again. Befriending other moms at their school and at the gym was my mode of finding other moms who understood what I was going through.

Are your kids learning their ABC’s yet?

Potty training is going to kill me or else I’ll end up on the nightly news!

Gah, my butt is still so HUGE!!

Since there were so few children in our neighborhood, and we were on a busy street where teenagers drag raced in front of our house, the Hubby and I decided it would be nice to live somewhere where we didn’t always have to worry about our young, active kids being used as speed bumps for the neighbor boys.

We found a wonderful neighborhood and house that met all of our criteria; plus, we had neighbors surrounding us who also had girls our kids’ ages. It was a dream come true.

Finally, I was able to meet an incredible group of women who I adored. They were smart, kind and made me laugh like a hyena/pig. I don’t care what you say, snorting is sexy.

And with a ring of our backyard cowbell, neighbor children would come running to join the Munchkins for outside fun. And of course since the moms needed to watch the children running amuck, a pre-dinner cocktail was usually in order to keep the moms hydrated.

We all believed that we would have this perfect life for ever – watching our kids grow up together and enjoying each other as much as we did. They had to, right? They were our kids and they should be exactly like us.

Several years of bliss passed by, then the strangest thing happened. Our children developed personalities. They decided they wanted to play with other children from their school.

“What? You want to play with wonderful neighbor girls, RIGHT!?”

I never thought they would drift apart. They couldn’t! I loved their mothers!!

But this is what is happening. They still enjoy each other occasionally, but they are growing up and developing outside relationships.

When asking them who they want at their birthday party, they have opinions – and dammit, I have to respect that and their choices. I can’t force who they want to be friends with. It’s a painful line of boundaries.

Unfortunately, our cocktail club is waining. We get together every once in awhile, but I do miss them and the fabulous world we had at the beginning.

Parental sacrifices, in the name of our children, suck. But that is what keeps our children trusting us and feeling like they are being protected.

Plus, I can sneak away and hang with my buds at the neighborhood Halloween party! NO KIDS ALLOWED!!

Is your life changing? Did you ever have to alter friendships to due to your kids?

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8 thoughts on “Kids Wrecking My Perfect World

  1. I never had any friends due to my kids. Just kidding – but, yeah, that’s weird that your kids developed personalities so suddenly. I try to discourage that. I’m sorry your group of buds is changing, but it’s nice you had one. I never really had that when my kids were little even tho the place was overrun by kids. But, man, was I dying for a 4:00 cocktail.

    I still don’t get why you wouldn’t let your kids be used for speed bumps, tho.

  2. I can totally relate. My son will be 18 in January and his friends are all over…mainly because he has a car now. During those “play date” years–when I was the one driving the car–us parents would get together more often. I miss that.
    P.S. Love the bee outfit!

  3. You always have such insightful posts, Stacey! I’ve noticed this phenomenon too, where my kids move on and I stay friends with the moms. Hey – it’s hard to make friends as an adult. Whatever works!

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