Dakota Fanning Saves the Entire World (m.07.19.10)
Nurse Mommy Parody Press (NMP2) interrupts your blog reading enjoyment for an Emergency Broadcasting Post
This Just in… *typewriter noise*
(Overland Park, KS- NMP) The mega-oil company, BP has finally solved the oil crisis with the help of another Hollywood star. This time it is reported by several Californian Girl Scout Troops that Dakota Fanning is skipping to the rescue. She is best known for her role as “any cute doe-eyed blonde girl in all blockbuster movies in the last 9+ years.”
Ms. Fanning, after learning of Kevin Costner’s interest in saving the oil crisis in the Gulf, came up with her own plan. Since it is well known this young actress has the largest Silly Bandz® collection in Malibu, she selflessly offered to give them all up to save the U.S. Gulf’s beaches and wildlife.
Along with her collection, she has purchased a plethora of 24 packs of “Sea” and “Beach (UV activated)” Silly Bandz® (both can be found loudly advertised anywhere) which will then cap the oil rig structure; and according to officials over the age of 15, will cut off the flow of oil and “solve this silly crisis for once and for all!” Supposedly a spokesperson for Silly Bandz® is quoted as saying, “We are glad to help out the United States in this capacity – and GIRLS RULE!!!”
(If this makes no sense to you at all, please consult with any girl aged 5-14 for translation or this video)
Fast Tube by Casper
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