Ask any parent who is grabbing onto their child in Oklahoma today, afraid to let go because of their incredibly close call. Or heaven forbid those parents who lost their beautiful children yesterday without even a warning – without a real good-bye or a hug. The terror, the pain, the anger they are experiencing is so raw that most of us can’t fathom it.

Yesterday, since we didn’t have any social media going on at our house, we didn’t know what was happening in Oklahoma until right before dinner. This is when I allow the girls to turn on the TV so I can prepare something edible and perhaps healthy (Mama ain’t always perfect).

We now have parental locks on the boob-tube since there’s too much crazy on it for a Kindergartner and 1st grader to see; plus my 1st grader (Munchkin #1) has figured out how to DVR programs and delete them and what not, so I know she could be pulling up porn if her wacky sister talked her into it. Hence, the parental lock code.

Munchkin #1 turned on the television and the news with the Oklahoma tornado (2013) devastation appeared in full view. They were talking about the school being leveled and sending in dogs to look for missing children. Excruciating. It only took 5 to 10 seconds for me to get to the channel my kids wanted and to unlock the code, but a lot of visual and audio information had permeated their brains during that time.

I put the show on pause and said, “Did you see that?”

Munchkin #2: Yeah, I have a friend who has relatives in Oklahoma.

M1 & M2: Nope.

They continued to watch their cartoon show, and tearfully I worried about the Oklahoma condition while preparing dinner. I wanted to turn on the TV and watch the news to see what had happened, but as a parent, it is my job to protect my children.

Just as those parents in Oklahoma were doing – running through empty fields where schools or houses used to be, screaming out the names of their kids until they had them safely in their arms – I had to protect my girls from the thought that every tornado will do this to them.

Children need to be well-versed in safety measures, and I mean repeat it over and over like a broken record, so when they are in a panicky situation they instinctively know where to go and what to do. Just having these safety talks once is not enough; but also, you need to make sure not to make them afraid, but feel empowered because they know what to do.

I don’t want my girls living in fear that every time it rains, a tornado will come and destroy their school or kill their friends or family. Young grade schoolers aren’t mature enough to process the “big picture.” This is why they must be shielded from the barrage of media footage saturating the airwaves.

All that happens when young children watch sensory beatdown, is they either become immune to it (like it’s a video game) or the other extreme, they walk a fearful and anxiety filled life.

And that instilled fear will take a lifetime to erase.

God Bless you all for reading, for caring and I have put up a link to the American Red Cross on my sidebar. They are always needing blood donors and LOTS of funds, to help this community survive and rebuild.

If you like what you read, please “like” Nurse Mommy Laughs on Facebook and Twitter.

Now if you stop and visualize “The REAL Walmart” before watching the following commercial, I’m imagining there may be some wincing or reflux occurring. Perhaps an increase in blood pressure, heavy perspiration or even hives in extreme cases may follow. But that is a normal human reaction, so don’t be hard on yourself.

My mind likes to fluctuate between the Facebook sites of the Walmart fashionista shoppers and how they proudly model their purchases down the aisles, and fantasy cartoon combinations of their grocery cart handles and my microbiology class in college. Both are horrifying and should not be observed by small children or those with a strong gag reflex.

Tragically, at the end of April, one of Walmart’s garment factory buildings in Savar, Bangladesh collapsed killing hundreds. The Walmart corporation donated 1.6 million dollars to the Bangladesh Environment Health and Safety Academy to offer much needed assistance in safety training. Good for you, Walmart! Plus, I’m sure their legal team didn’t think it was such a bad move either!

So what do you do when you your company’s crappy image starts looking even worse? You write a song about it! And it goes a little bit like this… Not! You create a commercial that is so funny that the comedians make fun of it and take notice and hope that any publicity is good publicity.

Actually, I don’t think this is what they thought at all. I think the ad agency (who is el stinko!) was pretty proud of their marketing product.

Oh, we have revitalized Walmart for once! Don’t worry, everyone will see past our subliminal messages of *you folk are stupid* and feel better about entering our doors.

IDEAS FOR COMMERCIAL TOSSED AROUND:

Hi! I’m an Astrophysicist and I shop at Walmart.

I’m the CEO of Target and even I shop at Walmart!

Do people heading up Walmart think the people who were already shopping there will think differently of their store because of this ad campaign? Or worse does Walmart hope shoppers who have for years purposefully chosen NOT to shop at that store, whether it be for political reasons, environmental reasons – or you just don’t like to pick up your groceries while watching a man put on some deodorant off the shelf and then RETURN it to the same shelf. (My friend Jen at People You Want to Punch in the Throat saw this one weekend morning and Facebooked it and I about barfed!)

I’m just tired of the word “real.” The Real Walmart. Reality TV. The Real Housewives of…

Really?

If you like what you read, please join me at Facebook and Twitter.

However, because all family tragedies are extremely personal, the family would like all further information and correspondence to go through their CarePage which documents Natalie’s journey. Click here to follow:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/nataliefleischaker/

Also, “a memorial fund has been set up in Natalie’s name to collect funds for distribution to the multiple charitable organizations that have helped (the Fleischakers) throughout Natalie’s journey.

Donations can be made payable to the Natalie Fleischaker Memorial Fund and sent c/o Bank of Blue Valley attn: Marilyn Madden P.O. Box 26128, Overland Park, KS 66225-6128.

A beautiful writer and mom who lost a child several years ago, spends much of her time writing and helping others deal with the loss of a child and/or how to help a friend who is grieving. When speaking with her today, she said she had earlier written a post on her blog, Four Plus an Angel, suggesting different gifts for bereaving friends. She recommended I list the link on my site for you to read here: http://fourplusanangel.com/2012/02/what-to-give/

By STACEY HATTON
May 3, 2013

As if no artifice of fashion, business, politics, had ever been,
Forth from its sunny nook of shelter’d grass —
Innocent, golden, calm as the dawn,
The spring’s first dandelion shows its trustful face.

“The First Dandelion.” by Walt Whitman – first printed in New York Herald: March 12, 1888

On the way to our favorite megastore is a sizable corner lot that has remained empty for years to the common passerby. A field of weeds and brush is all that remains until periodically someone mows them down to the city-ordained height.

There are countless joys of having children, but one of my favorites is how they often take you down memory lane to a time when life was simpler. Flickers of childhood memories pop out of your heavily scheduled head and direct your attention to things in the world you otherwise might gloss over.

On a spring day last year, an older couple in their 70s was in that field of weeds, each squatting with their own plastic grocery sack. I know many quirky people, so seeing they didn’t appear to be in any distress and they were clothed, I drove past not thinking much of it. My daughters and I finished our shopping and returned down the same road. To our surprise, the couple was still there — just further into the field.

My youngest girl, who doesn’t miss a thing said, “Mom, did those people lose something? They’re still there.”

This is usually when I start paying attention to my surroundings or make up a quick answer that will satisfy the curiosity of my monkeys. I glanced in the rear-view mirror to see the man and woman picking dandelion greens and storing them away.

An educational moment for sharing my limited knowledge of dandelions had come upon us. They are edible, potable and medicinal for the adventurous minded. However, I reminded my girls it was a poor choice to nosh on the ones in our yard for you never know who has “fertilized” the flower first — dog, bird or the “Roundup” man.

The next week, however, that same couple was picking dandelions from that corner lot. Either we had some strange connection to these people or they are spending an inordinate amount of time in this field. I believe it was the latter, but it wasn’t my issue. Some people like Facebook, others trespass and extricate weeds.

This time all three of us were amazed that couple had returned. For what were they using the dandelions? A green salad? Dandelion wine? Curing scurvy? Perhaps they were starting a grass roots music festival.

Then it hit me. Why is it that a child looks at a dandelion and sees a stunning, yellow flower and most adults in our country see a weed? At what point in our lives does our thinking cross over from being delighted in a flower that children make wishes on and whose seeds they chase, to fervently trying to eliminate those pesky weeds by any means?

I believe the loss of our childhood innocence must occur when we walk past a field of these vibrant yellow beauties and think, “Boy, I hope those seeds don’t blow into my yard.” I’m not starting a Save the Dandelion campaign or singing Kumbaya in my front yard with a wreath of dandelions adorning my head (even though that would be pretty). Don’t worry, neighbors, we will be keeping up with the Joneses!

But one of these days on the way to the store, if that couple isn’t doing whatever they are doing, I just might take the girls and go chase some dandelions. This year the field is full of them and it is a sea of yellow just inviting us to play.

Stacey Hatton is a former pediatric nurse, mom of two and humorist. She is co-author of “I Just Want to Pee Alone,” which can be found on Amazon.com or her blog, www.NurseMommyLaughs.com.

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Am I the only one feeling this? The guilt!!! Where art thou coming from?

No, really, I love gift giving. I’m a giver by nature. As long as I have a coupon, remember the date or give a flip about the person. Mother’s Day is another opportunity to spread the love to all the important women in my life; and for one day out of the year, have my husband make my cup of coffee in bed. *That was not supposed to sound dirty.*

Therefore, to help you with gift giving ideas for YOUR mother this year, I have done a little research and found some of the best gifts on the market. I hope this saves you some precious time finding the perfect gift for your type of mom.

Nurturing Mom
Mom’s Favorite Child Mug – ($14.49) If you know your mother fits in this category, she probably has made you feel as if you are her favorite child. So why not remind her every morning at coffee? This mug is cuter than a bug and will bug your siblings to no end!

Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer – ($5.99) – Your mother who is always watching out for your well-being, will be delighted to receive this product on her special day. After all, you never know who has been playing with their “Jimmy” before greeting the church parishioners.

Adventurous Mom
Go Girl – ($12.99) – If you have a mom who is worldly or the outdoorsy type, this next product is the cat’s meow! Just reach into your hiking gear, the glove box or your evening bag and pull out your rubber female urination device (aka girl penis). Then just drop trow, squat where ever you want, and your mom can now pee with the aim of a sharp shooter. (Available in camouflage or hot pink.)

The Funny Mom
The Wine Rack Flask Bra – Nothing says, “Mom, since I weaned off of you, you look like you could use a little inflating…AND a hit of wine!” You can get this for only $32.99!!

***I Just Want to Pee Alone – ($8.99) – Best-selling book in parenting humor on Amazon and iTunes is the PERFECT gift for any mother. 37 top mom bloggers co-authored this outrageous compilation of essays about motherhood and it will keep you laughing out loud. Oh, if you haven’t heard…I’m on page 121.

***This is the author’s favorite choice. Not only because she is in the book, but because every time you purchase one of these books, she will make money, which she is fond of. Just telling you the facts, Jack!

Here I am with the fabulous editor and co-author of the book, Jen (“just Jen”) of People I Want to Punch in The Throat. She is a savvy business woman and funny gal, but to protect my throat for the taping I used a flesh colored flotation device around my neck for this live TV interview on Friday, May 25, 2013.