Getting off my Bucket: I Spy Ladies Who Laser Tag

th

I’ve been afraid of guns for decades. Ever since a tragic accident killed a beloved young boy a few blocks from my childhood home, I’ve steered clear of all firing arms. While recently constructing my Bucket List, shooting activities never crossed my mind. Why would I need to fire a firearm before I die? Sounded like a bad miniseries just waiting to happen. But how would I live out my Charlie’s Angels fantasy without fashioning a weapon? No gun ranges for this mom and Paint Ball seemed aggressive. And according to my Ladies-Night-Out group, Paint Ball hurts, so that one was nixed. I know what you’re thinking and this isn’t your stereotypical Y-chromosome fantasy, but a reenactment of a secret life I’ve desired…the life of a spy. When I was young, lithe, and devoid of ... [ Read More ]

My Dream Home isn’t Pink and Plastic

dreamhouse

(This post was sponsored by The Blogger Collective) Last Christmas, Santa brought my daughter the new and fabulous Barbie Dream House. A far cry from the one my back yard neighbor had, but the excitement was comparable. Not only does the 2013 version have a working elevator and doorbell, it has so many new features from when I was playing with everything pink and plastic. The kitchen has a recycling bin, a blender that makes noise and an oven light. I remember my friends having a stove, fridge and sink and we were lucky if the doors stayed on. The TV that is in the living room can change back and forth from two channels. Right now it is a manual change, but I foresee Mattel going to a remote version in the near future. Apparently, having one elevator in your home is just ... [ Read More ]

Fear of Needles: The Bigger the Patient, the Faster They Fall

tumblr_m8wqg8zF8h1ru7i8zo1_500

(This post was sponsored by The Blogger Collective) Many years ago, I worked as a full-time registered nurse in a primary care teen clinic. We treated all kids who had gone through puberty; up through the time they finished high school. Let’s just say, I learned a lot! I was one of two nurses who were there daily for eight years, so I felt I got enough experience with teenagers. Because of that I’ve advised my munchkins to skip that pesky adolescence phase because I don’t need to go through it again. And you know it’s all about me! A vault of medical secrets and stories that would turn your stomach is hidden in my brain. So many that every once in awhile I have to sneak one out, making sure not to mention time, place or any detail that would go against HIPAA rules. This ... [ Read More ]

Need a Relaxing Stay-cation? Send Kids to Camp!

traditional soup cooking on fire in tourism pot

(This post is sponsored by The Bloggers Collective) You are a couple weeks into summer with all your kids home 24/7, so you naturally start to contemplate going crazy as a good alternative, just so you can have a room to yourself at the psych hospital. Can you relate?! The skilled parent (of whom I can only name on one hand) will have planned activities for every week, so that there aren’t constant whines of, “I’m bored!” Come on! What would summer be without the soul wrenching cries of boredom?! Yes, you could create a colorful and pinteresting board to proudly hang in your kitchen, to represent each child and their diverse educational yet entertaining summer activities. Or you could send them to camp. C-A-M-P. You heard me. Ship ‘em off to camp. Ah…I can ... [ Read More ]

KC Live Mommy Panel Dishing on Pool Etiquette

Woman hand with cocktail glass near swimming pool

One of my favorite parts of the month is being able to join two of the funniest ladies in Kansas City on KSHB-TV's KC Live! morning television show. Usually, our lovely interviewer Michelle Davidson leads the way; but rumor was she either had some gig traveling with Cirque du Soleil or was headlining at the Branson Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede riding ostriches. I think she deserved a day off because of her being fabulous and all; so the cutie patootie, Crystal - "just Crystal" - took over the reigns to discuss what us moms thought of pool etiquette. We really could have talked about this topic for about 20 minutes more because Sherry Keuhl of Snarky in the Suburbs, Paige Kellerman of There's More Where That Came From and I were on a roll. I'll let you check it ... [ Read More ]

That Summer in NYC With No Air Conditioning

BagelsChicago

This post was sponsored by The Bloggers Collective Chillin’ with My Boys in NYC Do you remember that insane time I lived in New York City on the Upper West Side? You don’t? That’s too bad because I hoped maybe you could help me with some of the foggy details of my intoxicating year of job searches, auditions for Broadway shows, cabaret acts in smoky bars and the last few nights when I was kicked out of my apartment and forced to live in a crack hotel. Hmm. I guess I do remember a bit more than I had thought. Apparently, I didn’t push that nightmare far enough into the recesses of my brain. Before the night someone was murdered outside my window at the crack house, I lived in a five-bedroom apartment off of 98th and Broadway. I haven’t been back there since, so I’m not ... [ Read More ]

Summer Myths of Poison Ivy, Mosquito Bites & Sunburns

Host

(first posted on Nurse Mommy Laughs May 2013) Are YOU as Smart as Your Pediatrician? Welcome to the game show Are You as Smart as Your Pediatrician?! Today’s contestant is Dr. Bryan Wohlwend from Priority Care Pediatrics. Are you ready to see if you are as smart as this pediatrician by answering these questions regarding summertime? We’ll find out soon if you know your heated facts or are you just caught up in the tall tales of summer. Let’s begin. True or False: 1) Poison ivy is contagious. False. The poison ivy plant contains a chemical called urushiol that causes the classic blistering rash. Luckily, the rash doesn’t contain urushiol, so it’s not contagious at all. Clothing can have the urushiol, so you should make sure to wash everything that was worn at the time ... [ Read More ]

My Aunt, the Crazy Feral Cat Lady

feral-cat-hiss

There are dog people. There are cat people. And there are people who prefer animals to people. My Great Aunt Fedalma, or Feddy Lorretti, as I called her the last year of her life, fit the last two categories to a tee. This woman in my genetic pool was so complex an entire book should be dedicated to her and her idiosyncrasies; but I won’t tackle that one. Hopefully, someone in the family will. Lord knows there is a wealth of wacko for them to delve into. But one of the most interesting aspects about this creative and aloof woman was her deep love of her feral cats. Yes, my Great Aunt liked it wild! For those of you dog peeps who might not be familiar with feral cats - they’re freaking crazy banshees from the wild – even though they might resemble cute house ... [ Read More ]

Drama Queens Crying Over Spilled Yogurt

spilledyogurt

Do you happen to have melodramatic, or as I like to say “passionate,” children in your home? In the medical world, we say these creative kids are predominately using their right-brain more than the analytical or left-side of the brain. At our house we are a 50-50 brain split. My husband, the engineer has his mini-version of himself (our cute - but girly daughter, Munchkin #1) and this writer/nurse/ex-theatre gal has a “mini-me.” (Prayers are welcomed!) It works out great during family arguments as long as you don't mind tie breakers to be implemented with every household vote. Coin tosses or Paper, Rock, Scissors usually do the trick. A few years ago, when my munchkins were five and six, it was a beautiful day with the normal balance of whining and sweet giggles coming from ... [ Read More ]

LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL

bright and colorful children toys at poolside (family vacations concept)

So have you crossed over to the other side? To the days of summer? A time when all kids are exhausted from working so hard, that they have morphed into a pile of dirty laundry and returned school art projects. Perhaps you have older children and finals are done. Since these teens lost so much sleep during the last few weeks studying, their nonexistent immune systems have caused them to come down with a case of the plague. Good luck to you all on that. No fun! At my humble abode, we have one last week before the summer begins. Five short days until the "start-of-the-school-year-countdown" begins. And then a part of me wants to curl up in the fetal position in my closet with a flask of something strong. I know there are some parents who relish summer time with their children. ... [ Read More ]