Is That a Kitten Around Your Neck? The ASPCA Will be Ticked!


Once upon a time, in a year far, far away (2013) there was a family of four who desperately wanted a kitten. ONE kitten. However, one day the weak, weak mother - who loves cute and fluffy things - melted at the animal shelter, and signed off on two darling 11-week old kittens: one was a grey/white tabby and the other a calico. How was she going to explain this one to her Hubby? Blaming it on poor math skills. That's the ticket. So unbeknownst to the weak mother, Calico cats are shy, ... [ Read More ]

WEIRD A*S MINDS: Greasy Criminals Flee

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. (AP) - A truck containing 18 tons of Crisco sticks headed to a grocery store chain distribution center was stolen in a Florida city. St. Petersburg Police say that a tractor-trailer containing the 36,000 pounds of vegetable shortening was snatched Sunday morning. The truck was destined for a Publix distribution center in Lakeland. This is a clear case of a late-night, fried chicken run turned bad. Obviously, drug induced thieves were experiencing “the munchies,” ... [ Read More ]

Bucket Lists, a Rodeo Clown and Baryshnikov

Metal painting Pail isolated on white, (clipping work path included).

Typically, I write my Goofy Bucket List adventure every month - but not this time. Another bucket has consumed me. No, I’m not working as a rodeo clown and unable to escape. But that’s not a bad idea for a future story. My oldest child often mentions her “bucket.” As you can imagine, this is confusing. “Miss Susie filled my bucket today,” she said beaming, as if she had swallowed a ray of sunshine. “You have buckets at school? I don’t remember that being on your school supply list,” I ... [ Read More ]

Effectively Teaching Children about STRANGER DANGER


The other day I heard a young grade schooler say to her mother, “I can’t talk to them. They’re a stranger.” Initially, I thought what an excellent job that parent did educating her daughter; but then I quickly realized the mother had instructed her child to ask a store employee a question, who was only 3 feet away, yet the child was paralyzed. If all adults are the enemy, what are children to do when they need help in an emergency or are lost? WHO SHOULD KIDS TRUST? The ... [ Read More ]

A Child’s Fear of Halloween is Debilitating for Parents Craving Chocolate

Excited boy with arms up - isolated over a white background

Once upon a time, there were children who hated Halloween. “Shut your mouth!” you exclaim? True story. “How can children not enjoy a holiday, where they are to dress up in costume and get free candy?!” you ask. Well, I’m not a professional holiday/candy researcher, despite my deep love of peanut brittle and candy cane fudge; but there actually are people who can help these kids overcome their fears. Several hundreds or tens of kids who are afraid of the dark and/or monsters can ... [ Read More ]

Old School Java Man is Daddy-O!

A young lady in a whipped cream on her head with a coffee cup.

In middle school, the first “rock” concert I went to was The Manhattan Transfer. And…I went with my Dad. *insert laugh track* You might guess my father was the one convincing his tween-aged daughter into accompanying him to this Jazz concert, but you would be sorely mistaken. I begged him to go. No Aerosmith. Not Rick Springfield. Nary a Black Sabbath head banging experience. I wanted the best music I had ever heard…the fabulous four with impeccable harmonies. To ease your ... [ Read More ]

409 Foolproof Ways to Kill Household Wasps


Hum de dum de dum! What a beautiful day to read a book by the window in my favorite chair! BUZZZZZZZ. Buzz. Buzz-buzz-buzzzzzz. Please don't let that be a wasp! My husband isn't home and I'm gonna have to leave the house until it dies. Please, God, Puh-leeze!!! Make it disappear! FOR THE CHILDREN... Ever have an experience like this? All alone in your home with the dreaded, stinging bomber-of-doom? No knight in shining armor to save you by beheading the circling bastards? Makes me ... [ Read More ]

ASK Nurse Mommy Sharing How to Stop Kids From Peeing on the Rug


Nurse Mommy, I have a question and need some advice. My 3 year-old granddaughter enjoys peeing on her bedroom carpet. Sometimes it's more than once a day. And, one day last week, she drank all the milk in her cup, took her baby sister's bottle, poured it into her cup, and then peed in the bottle!!! Luckily, my daughter got in the room, just before she gave the bottle back to her sissy. She knows to go in the toilet. She's just being rotten!!! She's the middle child, with a brother two ... [ Read More ]

Anxiety Much? Spiders and Skeeters and Ticks, Oh, Crap!

Desperate woman covering her face with her hands

Sometimes there are occasions that set an overly anxious parent into panic mode. Sound familiar? You can try to breathe through it or think logically; but somewhere down the road, the brain pathways have changed and different events can trigger the signs of panic. Some symptoms are a racing mind, increased heart rate, perspiration, diarrhea, nausea and/or the mothah of all evils…the PANIC ATTACK. If you haven’t experienced one of these bastards, you are fortunate and might scoff at those ... [ Read More ]

There’s No Whining in Grape Stomping

There it was. A full-bodied, agreeable red, with nice legs, a hint of unbalance and a spirituous finish. And that was just the grape stomping! The host for our autumn afternoon adventure was the BlueJacket Vineyard and Winery. It was their 5th annual “Sip, Stomp and Play.” Included in our day pass was a grape stomp, wine tasting and other “farmish” festivities to raise money for their local Farmer’s Market. We came there with open minds and empty glasses. The wine consumption was at ... [ Read More ]