Time to Get Your Love a Wooden Watch

Work it Hand Model, work it.

(This post is sponsored by JORD watches. I received a watch from them in return for my honest feedback. I cannot and will not be swayed by jewelry.) Valentine's Day is around the corner, and once again I'm unprepared. It sneaks up on me every year and I'm lucky if I get my hubby a card. (Note to self, add buying a card on my to-do list.) I blame my laziness weariness on Christmas. That whole 2-month festival wears me out. By February, I'm certainly not wanting to lift a finger to hit my ... [ Read More ]

I’m Allergic to the Super Bowl

Miss-Piggy-Gifs-miss-piggy-26968906-250-138

Guess what time of year it is… SUPER BOWL TIME!! Super. They’re seriously doing it again? I swear they did it last year. The only super part of the Super Bowl is if I can sneak out of a testosterone-filled party without anyone noticing. Then I won’t have to listen to all that primal screaming and grunting, and can recline in silence while I scarf down my precious, Pinteresty, football-shaped snacks in the host's driveway. Not that this has ever happened. Yes, I know there are ... [ Read More ]

I Had a Dream Involving a Soy Latte and Lunch With Friends

ihaveadream

I must preface this by saying, I am blonde and have the luxury of blaming this identifier whenever I deem appropriate and neccesary. This is one of those moments. Many Februarys ago, one of the munchkins was sick over one weekend. I spent that time lovingly tending to her whines needs, all the while praying that she would get better soon. "Soon" is translated into that Sunday night before bedtime. Not that I wanted my kid to be sick - because no mom wants their children to suffer - but ... [ Read More ]

Losing a Pet is Not One of my New Year’s Resolutions

A lot of crows sitting on a leafless tree. Black and white

Never before have I prayed so hard in my backyard to hear the obnoxious warnings of enormous ravens. The same vermin that ravage nests of bunnies and anything else deemed cute and fluffy around our home. I need some bird squawks now!! Is this starting to sound like the holidays may have pushed me over the edge? I was verging on hospitalization with the thought of another one of my kids’ favorite cats dying. It started New Year’s Day. We enjoy dramas, but only to watch on the stage or ... [ Read More ]

Reasonable Resolutions for the Underachiever

ReasonableResolutions

Many people dabble in the art of creating New Year’s resolutions. However, my family usually doesn’t get sucked into this disappointing game since we don’t like to be… disappointed. And let’s face it, how many of you have already botched this year’s resolutions? I feel your pain. My tuchas isn’t gonna shrink plopped in front of my computer screen all day. This year I decided to introduce my impressionable children to resolutions and create some new traditions. I didn’t want them to ... [ Read More ]

Deep Thoughts by a Lunch Lady

lunchlady

I have no memories of the lunch ladies from my childhood. I remember a large ice cream scooper slopping mealy mashed potatoes onto my plastic, segmented tray. Then watching others spuds mushed down with the back of the scoop so the next gal with a ladle-dripping helping of gravy could fill up the well. But sadly I have no recollection of the hands (or faces) that fed me. The lunch ladies were mere props to my friends and me - the scenery of the grand cafeteria stage. Maybe it was because ... [ Read More ]

Munchkin 2 Writes Another Winner – Mimi Cheesey Makes a Friend

mimicheesey2

Munchkin #2 has been stuck at home for something like 52 weeks (or 5 days) due to the plague Influenza A. As a medical professional I can adeptly inform you that it sucks. It's one thing to feel awful, but another to be screwed with. According to the Surgeon General school, your child must be clear of fever for 24 hours before returning to school. So for one day, they feel great and want to play and run around like everything is normal, BUT they are still contagious, so you have to keep them at ... [ Read More ]

Phew My Kitty Only Has Chlamydia

Bar the windows. Block the doors! The rumors you heard are tragically true. My kitty has Chlamydia. *slow, loud clap* And let me tell you, my Hubby and I couldn’t be anymore thrilled. “Why on earth would you be happy about having Chlamydia in your house?” you ask. Because the doctor said it was either Chlamydia or Herpes. “Excuse me, Doc - but I thought you said...?” I felt as if I had been told that my underwear were on the outside of my clothes – AND inside out. How embarrassing ... [ Read More ]

Nurse Mommy’s 2014 Annual Holiday Sale of Funny Toys

buginajug

Welcome to today’s QVS Holiday Extravaganza! I’m your host Stashayah and as you can see, (stroking hands and camera zooming in for a close up) I should have been a hand model – but after having kids, my knuckles swelled up like roasted chestnuts; so now I get to serve you beautiful people for the next 14 hours or until my larynx fuses to my spleen. Anyhoo… Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate this blessed day. And for those of you who don’t, I’m sure you are used to this constant ... [ Read More ]

Needles to Say You’re Stressing me Out

accupuncure

When I created my Goofy Bucket List, I envisioned days with friends and family taking on bizarre activities. Yodeling in the Alps. Waitressing at Hooters or just channeling my inner farmer. Wandering outside my comfort level again was the plan. However, this month I would go it alone, making it scarier. However, I never predicted the outcome of this escapade. I called the front desk and requested an appointment. Since I work from home and the munchkins are in school fulltime, I’d squeeze ... [ Read More ]

Making my Daughter Cry was a Cinch

daughter

One of my munchkins gets blocked tear ducts. She usually wakes up with it, and startles the family every time because she resembles Rocky Balboa. Young moms at Target run the opposite direction, shielding their babies from my daughter. We have to avoid the ER for fear of being assigned an abuse caseworker. For most people who get repeated duct problems, you apply a warm washcloth to the affected area, and whatever is blocking the duct will fall out from the dilated hole. Doesn’t take much to ... [ Read More ]