When is the Best Time for a Mom to Join the Circus?

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Many moons ago, when I was traveling with Ft. Worth's Shakespeare-in-the-Park production of "A Christmas Carol," my life was screwed up quite different. Every night the crew and cast would finish our stage performance in a gorgeous theater, climb aboard our double-decker bus, and then return to that night's hotel...bar. It's difficult to calm down after the adrenaline needed to sing, act and dance in front of thousands. So the hotel bar was a place where we could have seven two drinks, talk ... [ Read More ]

I’m Done With Glamour: Releasing my Inner Tomboy

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Since I began writing several years ago, I don’t get out of the house as often as I used to. My office is in my home, and after I shuttle the munchkins around to camps, friends’ houses and extra-curricular events, the last thing the munchkins and I want to do is go hang out in public. There's no place like home. Not only are my husband and I both homebodies, but our girls seem to appreciate our time together within our castle walls. We entertain each other well most of the time. There are ... [ Read More ]

Car Wash Phobias on the Rise Due to Increased Damages

As I sit down to write, I wonder how this will be funny when I am so incredibly ticked. I not only have such a full schedule of filling drinks and snack bowls, re-dressing Polly Pockets, taxes to organize, a plethora of inane questions to answer for the 15 millionth time, a house to clean, more meals to fix, and large vats of Diet Coke to ingest that I seriously don’t have a free moment. So I'm saying to hell with it all and parking my exhausted tail today in front of the laptop. This is for ... [ Read More ]

Anxious Parents Make for Anxious Children – tricks to let it go

Photo provided by Disney.

For as long as I can remember, I have been riddled with anxiety. On the playground, I studied my tennis shoes with hopes I wouldn’t be chosen for kickball. I sweated in the 40-degree weather with fear that my face would resemble a pug dog after one swift kick to my noggin. Dodge Ball boosted my worries in middle school gym class. I cowered in the back corners pleading to get hit in the shoes because the other kids might not have a strong enough arm to reach me. Please let me stay on the ... [ Read More ]

Prenatal Chiropractor Speeds up Labor and Reduces Painful Labor

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Even though this is a sponsored post, all of my opinions and bad jokes are my own. Last year when Jen, from the blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat, and I were hosting a book signing in Kansas City; I met the sunshiniest gal. Not only did this human light source make me feel better while briefly talking to her, but she told me about her job, where she can daily provide support and understanding for her patients. PLUS, her name is Dr. Shine!! Coincidence? I think.not. Dr. Kezia ... [ Read More ]

Milk anything? Udderly impossible!

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THE KANSAS CITY STAR (July 12, 2014) BY STACEY HATTON Summertime is a perfect time to chat with friends at the pool while your children work off some energy by sending waves into each other’s faces. Mom topics are diverse, but when someone asked, “Can anything with nipples be milked?” some serious research was in order. As a nurse, lactation is something I have studied and experienced first hand, but never had this question come up. So when choosing another adventure for my goofy ... [ Read More ]

Are You Kidding Me? My Life With An Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives

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Every two years, I am blessed to attend the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. At this conference I meet so many hilarious women (and a few gents) who temporarily strengthen my abs by making me laugh until I feel as if I’ve just completed a Zumba class. Minus the throbbing thighs and glutes. At my first Erma conference in 2012, I briefly met another humor writer, Stacey Gustafson. Throughout my life I have only met a handful of Stacey’s with an “e-y,” so I knew immediately she was good ... [ Read More ]

Mommy Marathon Takes this Nurse on Weeklong Sabbatical

As of tomorrow (Friday 7/11//14) I'm going to do a Mommy Marathon with my munchkins for about a week. They are going to get all of my attention as I take a hiatus from the keyboard. I like to do this at least once during the summer to bond with them, reboot my personal hard drive, and drink margaritas after they go to sleep. Plus, we always manage to come up with a LOT of new blog material!! See you right back here on the 21st for the update on our Munchkin Adventures!! Just in case you ... [ Read More ]

MUNCHKIN ROADS: Laser Tagging with a Celebrity

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Driving to play laser tag with another blogger and her kids, the munchkins want more details than I'm ready to share. It went a little bit like dis... Munchkin #1: What is your friend's blog name? Me: (trying to merge onto the interstate) Honey, I'm kind of busy here. M1: Her blog is famous, right? What's it called? Me: She has a new book coming out that she wrote. That's exciting, right? M1: MOM! What is her blog?!!! Me: ..... M1: Mom. Me: People I Want to Punch in the Throat M1: And ... [ Read More ]

Parenting Tale #234: Big Date Night and I Didn’t Even See my Husband

(Since this weekend was my anniversary, I promised my wonderful hubby I wouldn't work. So here is a repurposed post from 2012.) Did you ever have one of the best date nights of your married life, and embarrassingly you didn’t spend more than five minutes with your spouse? I know this sounds like the beginning of the end, but don’t you worry your pretty little heads, the Hubs and I are doing great and are in for the long haul…I want that 50 year anniversary picture in the paper and the ... [ Read More ]

7 Essential Things for Fourth of July Safety

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I love America just as much as anyone who loves football, country music and apple pie. OK, maybe not THAT much. But as the song goes, “I’m proud to be a ‘Merican! Yee haw, Dude!” With that being said, when the 4th of July comes around every year, I proudly place the grand ole flag in the front of our house, and pull out everything that I can find which is red, white and blue. Looks like Betsy Ross barfed all over us and the munchkin’s bikes – gotta make a bang for the 4th of July bike ... [ Read More ]