Top Ways to get Kids to Stop Whining Now

Time to Stop Whining, Dammit! So you can't get your kids to stop whining? Why? Parenting is so easy! By the way, if you agree with that, we can’t be friends. I cherish my daughters and think they’re perfect as they are, but these summertime behaviors are going to send me to the looney bin and we’re only a few weeks in.   They wake up wonderfully after a good night’s sleep, then a little thing like asking them to eat breakfast turns them into wild banshees. This is not after breakfast mind you, so this isn’t because I’m giving them too much sugar. My pre-tween girls are becoming independent. Hip-hip hurrumph! I realize it’s a rite of passage to find their voice and personality, but come on…before breakfast? I’m not restraining and forcing them to eat what I prepare. ... [ Read More ]

A Perfect Princess Party is All the Child Needs

Nothing More, Nothing Less With my daughter’s fourth year approaching, all anyone heard for two months was her upcoming party, the presents she demanded, and the cake…oh, yes, the pink, pink cake!! As a first time mother, I didn’t have a clue how important these three things were; but fortunately, since she reminded me of her wants every 13 minutes, I was prepped. A young girl’s fourth birthday, in terms of life importance, is comparable to your first new car, Senior Prom, your wedding day, and the next series in the “Game of Thrones” series all tied into one. It’s that big.  Now our daughter’s party request was a surprise to my husband and I who thought our daughter was enough of a tomboy to barrel through the Princess phase unscathed, but boy, were we mistaken. If you have ... [ Read More ]

Nurse Mommy has Expired

But "Laughing With Kids" is Taking Over! I have been feeling for awhile that Nurse Mommy Laughs has worn out her welcome, so I'm hanging up my scrubs and stethoscope. Since I haven't worked as a nurse since 2008, I thought I could drop the nurse bit (even though I'm keeping my license up-to-date; I could never take those awful boards again!) and will be focusing on my favorite job, being a mom and belly laughing over what kids do and say.   In fact, I love messing around and being silly with all children. You should see what I do at restaurants behind the mom's back or when a Dad is loading groceries onto the conveyor belt. Being a dork and making kids laugh is what does it for me. Xanax has nothing on the sound of kids cracking up. Since I've been tickling toddlers for ... [ Read More ]

Don’t Get Your Granny Panties in a Bunch

Thongs are wrong…s! This is my new campaign for women who are switching over to comfortable undies. OK, maybe I need to work on my slogan a tad. But seriously, according to a recent article in the NY Times, “Young women are embracing ‘granny panties’.” Even more startling, is that these large tuchas undergarments are becoming the new craze! Several companies are focusing on covering bulbous buttocks with ample cotton. Me and You, Ten Undies, and Hello Beautiful are just a few of the companies that seized the opportunity to draw in the muffin top and eradicate the crack cradle. I have for the past 20 years, only bought my underlings at Victoria Secret. Not because I think that is the best place to find my sexiness, but the quality of their granny panties is ... [ Read More ]