Recently I have joined a panel of women to discuss parenting, wife and woman issues on a morning TV show called Kansas City Live! It is on every day at 10:00am, but the three “Opinionated” Moms (we really need to have more of an appealing name) make an appearance once a month. Snarky in the Suburbs, Paige Kellerman and I make up this humorous panel and we truly get a kick out of each other.
After several of these experiences, I feel I should share what I have learned. If you are required to be interviewed on television, you can be aptly prepared and hopefully you won’t have as much anxiety as I did the first time round.
So here she goes…
10 Ways to Make Your TV Debut a Success
1. Dye your roots at least 4 days before. This way you cover the grey hairs, but they have a few days to mellow so you’re not mistaken for a Monster High doll.
2. Join a Bible study group with hopes there will be more people praying for you not to make a jackal out of yourself.
3. Purchase a new, good bra. If you don’t have the support of family and friends, at least your ladymelons will – and they will look spectacular!
4. Two days prior to filming, sign up for Weight Watchers.
5. Drink heavily and don’t count any of it as WW points.
7. Locate makeup. Then try to remember which makeup is actually yours and which is the “play” makeup that your young girls got for birthday presents.
8. The night before, eat a slice of cheesecake the size of your husband’s shoe.
9. On the drive to the TV studio, come up with something witty to say for the show – instead of your regular lines of, “I’d like paper” or “I’ll have a Diet Coke, please.”
10. Spanx, spanx, spanx it out!
If any of you happen to see the program tomorrow, February 12, 2014, and have suggestions for what our panel name should be, I would love to hear it. Anything without the word “opinionated” will be considered first.
Oh, and “The View” is already taken if you hadn’t heard.