The Oh, Crap My Kid Knows How to Read Giveaway

I have always been a firm believer in not teaching your children to read until they are old enough to appreciate the dirty books you have in your bookshelf.

So I don’t know why I encouraged both of my girls to read – or even the alphabet – because by the time they finished Kindergarten, they were into Chapter books. Over achievers already? Great.

Many parents might think, “Shut up and stop bragging about your kids, why don’tcha!” But, honest, I am purely using this as a reference for my current household problem.

Studying the art of “fraternity humor” at a young age, I was introduced to some of the great comedians. I became a connoisseur of comic geniuses whose foul mouths and sarcastic quips drew me in more than Saturday morning cartoons.

Artists like:

The Van Gogh’s of cinema – Animal House and Caddy Shack.

The Seurat’s of television – Taxi, Soap and M*A*S*H

And I still love a funny book where the author isn’t afraid to let their vocabulary fly south. It’s when you appreciate a fine Pinot Noir, but on occasion all you really want is a Budweiser – and it’s as good as it’s gonna get!

So when my six year-old daughter started to nose around my office desk, looking for reading material; I knew it was time to put my stash up on the highest shelf.

Of course, when you forget and are reading a new hit parenting humor book, and accidentally leave it on your bed stand, conversations like this arise:

Munchkin #2 (age 6): Mama, I love your book.

Me: You read my book? (assuming she read “I Just Want to Pee Alone”) *Oh, boy!*

M2: It’s my new favorite. I love the cwappy baby the most.

Me: What did you say?! (M2 speaks with a slight lisp so I thought perhaps I heard her wrong.)

M2: I like the Cwappy Boy too. He’s so funny. I want to draw pictures of all my Cwappy Baby dolls and make a Cwappy book like that one. It’s Epic!

Me: It IS a funny book, but you can’t say the word “crappy” in public. It’s actually a naughty word. And you will get in big trouble if you say it in school or church, and definitely at GRANDMAS.

M2: Oh, I didn’t know.

(long pause)

M2: Do you think that Cwappy Papa looks like Daddy?!

Now Munchkin #2 did manage to get this one right. Amber Dusick the hilarious author of the book “Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures” not only snagged my child, but she continually hits home-runs with her humor in her popular blog.

So in honor of kids learning to read, and appreciating a good comedian when you see one, I am giving away a FREE COPY of her book to the winner of the contest.

And since I am in a giving mood – Paige Kellerman, writer of the intelligent and snappy blog, “There’s More Where That Came From,” has a new hilarious book, At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles: Mostly-True Tales of An Impending Miracle, which is selling like gang-busters.

Paige and I were on the morning TV show, Kansas City LIVE! this last Tuesday, and she is freakin’ hilarious and talented. Plus, her gams are longer than I am tall! After meeting her in person, I now love her more than my orthopedic insoles in my running shoes. (And if you think I actually run in those suckers, you be Krazy!)

So I thought I would throw in a copy of her book as well for spits and giggles!!

The winner will be chosen by Rafflecopter and I will announce the winner on this website on Friday, August 30, 2013 at 8:00am CST.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck to you all!

And if you don’t enter the contest, please join me on my Nurse Mommy Laughs Facebook page – the Stacey Hatton one is boring (sorry) or Twitter if you get some urges!




One perk of having funny and talented friends is that someday one of them will eventually write a book that will be PUBLISHED and be HILARIOUS and make you SO freaking jealous THRILLED for their success!

Janet Frongillo (pronounced Frahn-jello – like the shot) is has not only written one of the funniest mommy books EVAH, it is one that is the perfect gift for any good friend who has just had a baby and is overjoyed with love for her bundle of joy, yet overwhelmed from sleep deprivation and 10 months of no cocktails!

MOMMY MIXOLOGY  – A Cocktail for Every Calamity says, “Do juice boxes come in Mojito? Motherhood is ‘memorable,’ but all too often for its calamities.  Fortunately, Mommy Mixology shares stories, sympathies and some strong drinks to keep you laughing through it all.”

In this crazy funny cocktail book are Virgin drink recipes for after conception (“Watermelon Weigh-in”); but then the alcohol enters the picture when the mom isn’t breastfeeding and she needs an adult bevy: a “Colicky Cider” or a “Muffintopmommy Mudslide,” or a toddler tumbler of “Cosmopotty,” “Bloody Binky,” or a seasonal “Scary Santa.”

My favorite is a toss up between the “Penis Colada” for when boys will be boys or the “Kindergarten Cooler” where she invites you to mix the appropriate alcohol with 6 oz of fruit punch or 1 juice box!  Hey-hey-hey it’s Kool-aid time!! (for adults only, please!)

All of these come with stories about being a mom and how exhausting and frustrating it can be at times. And sometimes after we get the kids down for bed, we can curl up on the couch with our mate, mix up a “Fundraiser Flop” and have a big laugh.  Lord knows we all need a LOT of laughs while raising these munchkins!

Janet’s publisher, Ulysses Press, is letting Nurse Mommy Laughs giveaway ONE COPY of MOMMY MIXOLOGY to one lucky reader.  So here are the rules:

1)      Click on the comment button.

2)      Sign in

3)      Say you’d like the book

4)      Wait until I say go…

5)      Now, GO!

If you would like to see Janet’s other work on her crazy, HIGH-LAHR-IOUS blog…, please do so.  She won’t hate you for it!  Tell her some crazy nurse from Kansas sent ya!

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© 2012, Stacey Hatton.  All rights reserved.