The Oh, Crap My Kid Knows How to Read Giveaway

I have always been a firm believer in not teaching your children to read until they are old enough to appreciate the dirty books you have in your bookshelf.

So I don’t know why I encouraged both of my girls to read – or even the alphabet – because by the time they finished Kindergarten, they were into Chapter books. Over achievers already? Great.

Many parents might think, “Shut up and stop bragging about your kids, why don’tcha!” But, honest, I am purely using this as a reference for my current household problem.

Studying the art of “fraternity humor” at a young age, I was introduced to some of the great comedians. I became a connoisseur of comic geniuses whose foul mouths and sarcastic quips drew me in more than Saturday morning cartoons.

Artists like:

The Van Gogh’s of cinema – Animal House and Caddy Shack.

The Seurat’s of television – Taxi, Soap and M*A*S*H

And I still love a funny book where the author isn’t afraid to let their vocabulary fly south. It’s when you appreciate a fine Pinot Noir, but on occasion all you really want is a Budweiser – and it’s as good as it’s gonna get!

So when my six year-old daughter started to nose around my office desk, looking for reading material; I knew it was time to put my stash up on the highest shelf.

Of course, when you forget and are reading a new hit parenting humor book, and accidentally leave it on your bed stand, conversations like this arise:

Munchkin #2 (age 6): Mama, I love your book.

Me: You read my book? (assuming she read “I Just Want to Pee Alone”) *Oh, boy!*

M2: It’s my new favorite. I love the cwappy baby the most.

Me: What did you say?! (M2 speaks with a slight lisp so I thought perhaps I heard her wrong.)

M2: I like the Cwappy Boy too. He’s so funny. I want to draw pictures of all my Cwappy Baby dolls and make a Cwappy book like that one. It’s Epic!

Me: It IS a funny book, but you can’t say the word “crappy” in public. It’s actually a naughty word. And you will get in big trouble if you say it in school or church, and definitely at GRANDMAS.

M2: Oh, I didn’t know.

(long pause)

M2: Do you think that Cwappy Papa looks like Daddy?!

Now Munchkin #2 did manage to get this one right. Amber Dusick the hilarious author of the book “Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures” not only snagged my child, but she continually hits home-runs with her humor in her popular blog.

So in honor of kids learning to read, and appreciating a good comedian when you see one, I am giving away a FREE COPY of her book to the winner of the contest.

And since I am in a giving mood – Paige Kellerman, writer of the intelligent and snappy blog, “There’s More Where That Came From,” has a new hilarious book, At Least My Belly Hides My Cankles: Mostly-True Tales of An Impending Miracle, which is selling like gang-busters.

Paige and I were on the morning TV show, Kansas City LIVE! this last Tuesday, and she is freakin’ hilarious and talented. Plus, her gams are longer than I am tall! After meeting her in person, I now love her more than my orthopedic insoles in my running shoes. (And if you think I actually run in those suckers, you be Krazy!)

So I thought I would throw in a copy of her book as well for spits and giggles!!

The winner will be chosen by Rafflecopter and I will announce the winner on this website on Friday, August 30, 2013 at 8:00am CST.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck to you all!

And if you don’t enter the contest, please join me on my Nurse Mommy Laughs Facebook page – the Stacey Hatton one is boring (sorry) or Twitter if you get some urges!


Stacey

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Dr. Scholl is in the closet and we have a Winner

teach children kindnessDespite all the sadness in the world after the tragedy at the Boston marathon yesterday afternoon, I am going to try to be the beer bottle is three-quarters full kind of gal, and with the Southie mentality…I’m gonna kick that bastahd in the nards and then hand out my award to the winner of the book, “I Just Want to Pee Alone.” How ya like them apples?!
(Prayers and love to my extended family and Matt Damon- ’cause I luff him and my hubby is fine with it)

…and the winner is…Darlene S. from Jersey!!! (YAY!!!!!) Darlene won by 1 point, so tenacity paid off my friend!

The Rafflecopter was an adventure for me. I was a bit afraid that this way of choosing the winner wouldn’t work and it would choose me and announce it to my readers and I would look like a dork. But really, I don’t appear to look any worse off than I did before this contest and I didn’t have to pick a name with my feet. (Which truly is dorky at ALL!!)

Drum roll, Dr. Scholl!

Drum roll, Dr. Scholl!


There will be other contests for the book, so if you didn’t win, don’t be a hater. OR…there is even a thing called Amazon.com where you can buy a copy of the book and they will even deliver it to your door!! MAGIC. Just make sure to click on my link above on the right if you are reading this on your desktop/laptop or at the bottom of my posts if you are reading me on your phone. (That way I actually get to make a little money off the sale, instead of just the “man”)

Darlene, send me a private email with your addy and I’ll get you your book! I’ll even sign it if you want. That will be worth a whole dime!!

xoxo Stacey

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I Just Want to Pee Alone best-selling book giveaway

Fancy. That’s all I can say about this giveaway. It’s so fancy, I can hardly stand it!

Avatar Pee Nurse

One winner will be chosen by my fancy computer’s thing-a-ma-role to receive a free copy of the best-selling book, “I Just Want to Pee Alone.” Don’t ask me how this contest works, ’cause my IT guy, who I just call “Mr. It,” says the Rafflecopter is legit and more trust-worthy than my long-standing partner, Dr. Scholl who has for the past 4 years been picking names out of a wicker basket. We are still very close, but I had to step it up a bit with this book thang.

mommymixology

(Really, if you want to know the truth…I am in dire need of a pedi and am too grossed out to take a current pic of my feet, so I turned my amp up to eleven and we are rockin’ this Pee book out!)

Here’s to a Dose of Good Luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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The Great Medical Scrub Contest by Uniform Advantage


Calling all Nurses who like free stuff!!!                 (Is that an oxymoron?)

Don’t worry your capless head, we don’t want your urine sample for analysis (UA).

This is a certified “too-legit-to-quit” contest with the GRAND PRIZE being… (drum roll, Dr. Scholl)

A FREE – yes, that’s right. A FREE – $25.00 gift card for SCRUBS from my dear friends at Uniform Advantage (UA)  for TWO Nurse Mommy readers!  (Okay, I’ve never met them, but they’re giving away free scrubs, so they have to be good peeps.) Can I hear 50 shades of Hey?!

All you have to do is give up your first child and sign over your next 10 (ten) paychecks to “Nurse Mommy”…KIDDING!  I said FREE, do you have a problem with that?  Don’t make a liar out of the nurse, they’ll revoke my license!

So Ladies and Gents, come check out Uniform Advantage’s website and their new products!  They have a line called “Butter-Soft Scrubs.”  Nurses have been known to be caught skipping down hallways rubbing their soft scrubs and quietly muttering, “Mmmh, these scrubs are like buttah!”**

**This line of scrubs promises to not add calories or increase your BMI for the wearer of the uniform.

 

http://www.uniformadvantage.com

 

HOW TO ENTER:

  1. Please just mention why you like or dislike butter in the comment section of the Nurse Mommy Laughs website.
  2. Two winners will be drawn next week by Dr. Scholl (my assistant) and announced at that time. 
    Good luck and happy buttery thoughts!

~ Nurse Mommy

(this post was sponsored by Uniform Advantage; however, all opinions are mine)

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Contest for Erma Bombeck Workshop 2012 Entrants

ATTENTION ALL 2012 EBWW ENTRANTS!!

**NOT affiliated with the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop or it’s staff**

(approved by W. Argersinger 2012)

Wanda Argersinger (an Ermie and “Dirty Bird”) owner of E.B. “Elwyn” Heron and a 2012 Honorable Mention Global winner in the Humor Category is offering the “SECOND ANNUAL E.B. Heron Contest” available only to attendants of this upcoming Erma Bombeck conference.

Stacey Hatton won the first contest held 2 years ago to guess E.B.’s middle name, but now another contest is on its way!  So Ms. Hatton is stuck publicizing the contest free of charge.  Part of E.B’s grand plan…

Attached is a photo of EB (Elwyn Bertrand) in his tux, the only one he owns as of today.  But wait, a new tux and other attire are currently being tailored just for him. As you can see in the photo his tux is black and has a red insert in the front of his cummerbund.

Now is your opportunity to guess what his new tux will look like. I can tell you when he was shopping for fabric he stayed within his clothing allowance. The fabric is at the tailors (Ms. Alba Garcia Trujillo) and should be ready in plenty of time for  EBWW 2012.
A special prize pack awaits the winner.

(E.B. Heron escorted by Rose A. Valenta)
Here are the rules:
1) All entries must be made via e-mail and sent to me at wanda@wandaargersinger.com
2) You must be registered to attend EBWW 2012 (and yes, I have a copy of the list) to be eligible to enter the contest
3) The tux contains at least 2 main colors (there may be minor colors but that would only be used to break a tie)
4) All entries must contain name, current e-mail address, and your guess written listed with main color and cummerbund color (Remember there are many shades of every color so be as specific as possible – light green and lime green are not the same colors. In case of a close call on colors Jody Worsham will decide  as she is the theater expert.)
5) Entries must reach me by 3:00 pm CDST on April 13, 2012.

Good luck and have fun.

Wanda Argersinger

To learn more of Wanda’s new e-book coauthored with Jody Worsham, “EB and the Ladies of the Bird Table Take Flight!”, go to http://www.amazon.com/Ladies-Bird-Table-Flight-ebook/dp/B007K0QSX6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332369540&sr=8-1

E.B. Heron Annual Contest
2010 winner – Stacey Hatton, Overland Park, KS

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