I’ve been noticing my Munchkins (ages 7 and 8) commenting on my attire. I don’t know why they are just now paying attention to what I’m wearing because with the exceptions of wedding, funerals, and disco parties, literally I have been wearing the same outfit since 2005.
“I know this, how?” you ask. “After all, you are aging and blonde…”
Yes, that’s an astute observation, but my daughters are obsessed with watching home videos of themselves as babies. It was cute at first. There was a lot of “oohing” and “ahhing” the first 50 times we watched them; but I must confess, I never thought I would tire of watching my love-buckets on the screen.
BUT GIVE IT A REST, ALREADY!
So back to my killer wardrobe: it consists of black (no other color) yoga pants, and a v-neck t-shirt in a rainbow of colors! A little splash of color never hurt anybody, right?! Then I top it off with running shoes which mock me daily because running is never performed in this footwear. Truth is, when I run I am barefoot, on the beach and sound asleep.
I also should mention, depending on the season, I add a zippered sports jacket with pockets to keep the chill off during the day especially when I keep the thermostat brisk while the kids are at school. I’d hate to have a hot flash and not be able to remove a layer! Plus, you need those pockets for you cell and a handful of Chex Party Mix.
Last weekend Munchkin #2 decided I needed a makeover.
“I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but Mom, you need a makeover,” she barfed out like I didn’t have an insecure bone in my body.
Don’t you love it when people say, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but…” and then finish with a hurtful comment, thinking it’s OK because they said they didn’t want to hurt you? If she weren’t my daughter, I would have kicked her in the knees.
We need to work on that lesson a little more, my child.
Unbeknownst to my hubby and me, M2 decided I needed a “date night with my husband.” Don’t you worry your pretty head because I’m almost positive she wasn’t saying I looked like I needed to “get me some.” I am looking forward to her teen years when her sassiness will go overboard and be horribly inappropriate.
Her plan was to get me fixed up for my big imaginary date. What harm could be done? My husband and other daughter were out for a few hours so she could perform her creative magic. She has been dabbling in stage makeup in some of her acting classes and wanted to practice her skills on her mother. How cute, right?
She sat me down in the bathroom and pulled out my makeup, and carefully applied my makeup.
Then it was time for the hair. I didn’t want to judge, but sheesh! How many products could this child use on my head? I didn’t want to impede her progress, so I sat there trying not to laugh or wince.
Munchkin #2 then went into my closet and found a dress she thought would be perfect for my date. She instructed me to put it on while she was going to make her parents something special to eat in the kitchen.
That should have been my red flag.
Half a pound of sugar, cake sprinkles, water and 2 large packets of lemonade, she had our diabetic sludge cocktails ready. Really, a box of wine and a straw could have sufficed, but I didn’t want to disappoint.
The garage door grumbled and I could hear my other daughter and husband talking as they entered the house. I sat primed and ready for my hot date to view his new beauty.
“Come into the living room, Darling! Your youngest has given me a makeover!” I gleefully announced.
“What happened to you?” asked my hubby.
“I got a new style!” I said giving him my sexiest pose.
“Well, give it back!” he said walking into the next room.
After ten years of marriage, I’m proud to say we still got it! And the great thing is…when questioned on my look – hubby wants me back in my old uniform.
Yoga pants it is!!
(previously posted on NML in October 2013)
Do your kids do this crazy stuff to you? What’s the weirdest costume or look they have done to you?