Dentists Celebrating Thanksgivukkah

American Gothic2

This morning, while sitting around the breakfast table, my hubby was reading the paper, and on the front of the FYI section of The Kansas City Star, was an altered version of the famous painting, American Gothic. It was in honor of the great Thanksgivukkah of 2013.

The famous painting was altered so the woman was wearing a pilgrim outfit for Thanksgiving, and the man with the pitchfork was sporting Yiddish attire and holding a Menorah instead.

My hubby and I were discussing the significance of this rare occasion and how the last time Thanksgiving and Hanukkah were on the same day was in 1888 and wouldn’t happen again for 78,000 more years. We thought this was pretty awesome, like Halley’s Comet. (Of course we enjoy our Thanksgiving and Christmas to be on separate days, but since that wasn’t going to be happening, we probably shouldn’t have an opinion.)

So Munchkin #1 walks in and sees the picture in the paper and says:

“Oh, look it’s his dentist.”

The hubby and I stop to gawk at each other and wonder why she thinks a Yiddish man presenting a Menorah seems to look like a dentist to her. Especially since her dentist is a blonde, short woman.

Hubby: M1, why does he look like a dentist?

M1: He doesn’t look like the dentist. He is the dentist.

Me: I don’t get it.

M1: When the painter made this painting, he made the man to look like his dentist.

Hubby: (looking at me) You better research this one first.

The hubby knew I was going to run with that comment. And as it turns out, the 8 year old knew more than the parents. Again! Fact checked it at The Art Institute of Chicago.

Me: I can’t believe you are learning so much in art class.

M1: What did you learn when you were my age in art?

Me: Perspective. Just perspective.

M1: What’s that?

Me: Exactly!




I either had one heck of a brain toot, a blond moment or maybe just a bad case of the “not- thinkin’s” because I have been loudly and proudly singing announcing to the world (okay maybe just my FaceBook world) that my children were going back to school last week.  I might add that it was 2 weeks past the time the rest of the children in Kansas City were hopping on the bus.

I have been waiting for my children to join their dear friends in school to…uh…work on their socialization skills.  That’s it!  They need to get out of my house so I can have some peace free time to prepare for our educational and bonding time together.

As you parents know, this is code for “I-need-some-ME-time-so-I-can-be-a-kind-grownup-to-my-kids!”  So what should a mom do to take care of herself on this big day?  A manicure, a pedicure, lunch with girlfriends, or a glamorous day of alone-time shopping?  Something where we pamper ourselves for being good and patient parents, right?!

Well, it was shocking to me to see that I had much earlier scheduled my dental teeth cleaning and my annual girlie bits examination (aka Pap smear) on my day of pampering and relaxation.  No lunch at the American, no shopping on the Plaza, no mani or pedi and I even had floss my teeth and  shave my legs!!  I might as well have scheduled a meeting with my accountant and squeezed in a mammogram and I would have had the perfect day from hell!

Not that it should shock me that I put yucky appointments on the same day.  I consciously try to do this every year.  Just get ‘em over in one fell swoop.  But my first day off?!  Well, you can bet your bottom dollar I won’t do that again!

So here is the interesting part.  As I was …let’s just say “stirruped” and sticking my parts to white cold paper, I had an epiphany.  I was doing this without my preschoolers in the exam room!  How many times have I had to take the babies to the gynecologist and strap them in the stroller facing the back wall while enduring a quick exam? I was alone!

The sun was shining through the exam room windows, it was beautifully quiet, and if things went swiftly, I had 38 minutes until my next appointment.  I might just go get a lunch and picnic by the duck pond down the street.  I could sun my face and listen to the 70-degree breeze waft through the trees without the constant chanting of “poop and peep” in the background.  Potty talk is IN right now at our house.  Funny. Who would have thought…but Mom is relaxing.

© 2010, Stacey Hatton.  All rights reserved.