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KC Star news: Stacey Hatton Commentary (m.08.09.10)

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Reprint from The Kansas City Star news (11/04/2009)

Brace yourself for perfect princess party

By Stacey Hatton
Wednesday,November 4, 2009
Edition: METROPOLITAN, Section: JOHNSON COUNTY, Page 2

With my daughter’s fourth year approaching, all anyone heard from her for two months prior was her upcoming party, the presents she desired and the cake…oh, yes, the pink cake!

As a first time mother, I wasn’t aware how important these three things were, but fortunately, since she reminded me every 13 minutes, I was prepared. A young girl’s fourth birthday, in terms of life importance, is comparable to your first new car, senior prom, your wedding day and the next book in the “Twilight” series all tied into one. It’s that big. Now our daughter’s party request was a surprise to my husband and me, who thought she was enough of a tomboy to barrel through the princess phase unscathed, but boy, were we mistaken.

Tip No. 1: If you have a girl who is 3 years old, start saving up for next year’s party because she will demand:

It must be a princess party — a perfectly precious princess party.

50 balloons, pink and off-pink.

Huge pink cake with pink icing and princesses on it. (Translation: Every Disney princess that has ever been created.)

Every guest must be dressed as a princess, preferably in what? Yes, pink.

A pink princess piñata. I know what you are thinking. Yes, they do make these scary contraptions, but you don’t have to beat a princess over the head with a baseball bat anymore. You can buy a pull-string piñata, but it still felt odd having every child grab a ribbon from the perfectly pink underskirt and seeing copious amounts of candy fall on the floor. We opted for a pink tiara piñata. It’s just as effective for the kids without all the adult jokes.

Tip No. 2: Do not mention this party to your child again until the morning of the big day. If you think it’s a bonding experience to involve your child in the party planning, you are wrong.

So how many girls get invited?

Tip No. 3: Many invitation and party kits come in sets of eight. Whatever you do, don’t invite nine girls. It will rock your planning world.

Tip No. 4: Are there any big sporting events on this day? If you want the men in your family to be present, don’t schedule the big event during a Big 12 or Chief’s football game. They will be irritated and resentment might ensue. This is no way to start off a princess party.

Next, do you have any friends who owe you a big favor? Any friends you can hit up to help on the big day with an “I might need a little help with a teensy, tiny art project for a few girls”?

Promising cake can help if they hesitate, but I told my friend she could keep her tiara and that was enough.

The big day arrives and I was prepared. My friend showed up early, grabbed a tiara and we stood post for the “carriages” to arrive.

Here’s a quick version of the party: introductions and greetings in formal dining room, art project, opening of presents, piñata string spectacular, dance break and a reading of Cinderella.

Things were going great! Then I leaned into my friend and whispered, “We only have cake and ice cream to do, and over an hour and a half left!”

Tip No. 5: Have much more planned than you think you have time for. This can include such improvised games as pin the pink ribbon on the door or pick up the piñata candy with a spoon and put it in your princess purse. Or the best one we came up with: turn up the radio and have a princess dance fest!

The princess party was perfectly precious!

The girls had a great time and after I awoke from my sugar induced coma, I realized all the effort was worth it. My daughter remained in her dress and heels until bedtime, requesting to wear them to sleep (denied). However, she got over it quickly, told me how much she loved her party and was asleep before her head hit her royal pillow.

And I’m pretty sure my big 4-year-old princess dreamt in “pink” that night.

Stacey Hatton is a freelance writer who lives in Overland Park.

©2010, Hatton. All rights reserved.

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KC Star Commentary (w.06.30.10)

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Stacey Hatton | Family Cookie Factory holds life lessons

STACEY HATTON COMMENTARY

My family craves anything sweet, but as a health professional, I try not to have the house stocked full of sugary treats.

However, my 3-year-old literally asks for a Popsicle every hour of the day. Winter, spring, summer or fall…all you have to say is “No!” for the zillionth time. And this has been going on for a year. The research says she is just testing us, but come on, the test is over! Put down your pencil and turn over your paper.

Now, the occasional cake or cookie is satisfying, but let me tell you, with two preschoolers, baking can be quite an adventure. To get Munchkin #2’s mind off the blasted Popsicles, we will sometimes play Family Cookie Factory.

One day as I was teaching my children the difference between salt and sugar and how to crack an egg, I started to see Family Cookie Factory was a great teaching tool, not only for baking skills, but life skills.

Here are a few life lessons that fit nicely with the Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookie recipe:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. This should be done by a responsible and preferably sober adult. Anything involving extreme heat should be handled by those who have passed grade school — the first time through.

Life Lesson 1: When things get hot, step away from the heat.

Combine flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Use exact measurements when baking. Baking is like a chemistry experiment and you don’t want to throw things in willy-nilly or you might end up with a savory, flat briquette.

Life Lesson 2: Following directions can be helpful, and crucial if you grow up to be an electrician or a neurosurgeon.

Beat two sticks of butter, with sugars and vanilla until creamy. Two sticks of butter? Oh, my carotid is constricting as I type! There is a fine line between letting your children not feel bad about having an occasional cookie and not gasping and screaming expletives when you see the recipe calls for two entire sticks of butter.

Life Lesson 3: Take care of your body. You only get one and too many toxins and pollutants make aging more difficult and ridiculously ugly.

Add the eggs. Teaching preschoolers to crack eggs is always frustrating, messy or hilarious. I see it as the latter, but I enjoy slapstick comedy. I’d recommend using a separate bowl. Add it to the heart attack mixture in the previous step after retrieving the pieces of egg shell.

Life Lesson 4: Not all people are gifted at all things. The art of egg-cracking is not well developed by all persons. This skill will not be on your SATs.

Beat in flour mixture and add chocolate morsels. The word “beat” is confusing to youth. Educate them to use a hand mixer safely, which includes how to turn it on and off slowly and never aiming it at your sibling.

Life Lesson 5: Chocolate is the most blissful thing God created. A voice came straight from the heavens and gave Mr. N. Tollhouse the recipe. True story.

Drop teaspoon dollops onto baking sheet. That size is not written in stone.

Life Lesson 6: Bigger is…just bigger. Decide what you like and go for it.

Bake for nine to 11 minutes. Make sure to watch the cookies so they don’t get burnt.

Life Lesson 7: Don’t sunbathe too long or often — you’ll get melanomas.

Remove cookies to wire racks to cool. Make sure to let the cookies cool off enough before eating.

Life Lesson 8: Cookie cooling is a difficult lesson in patience. While patience is a desirable quality, it’s impossible to teach preschoolers; so sometimes they just have to learn the hard way. Tip: Have cold milk on close standby for this lesson. It will usually put out the fire.

Stacey Hatton is an Overland Park RN and freelance writer. Her blog can be found at http://nursemommylaughs.com.

Posted on Tue, Jun. 29, 2010 10:15 PM
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KC Star News | Swab me tender and swab me right

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STACEY HATTON COMMENTARY

May 5, 2010

I always thought my biggest problem at airport security would be setting off the metal detectors with my abs of steel, but not anymore.

Now you have to remove your shoes and your 1980s Madonna belt buckles. Those who have piercings aplenty might as well just stop traveling the skies all together.

After several airline bomb scares, the TSA increased security measures earlier this year. In addition to already swabbing some carry-on bags, airport security may swab passengers’ hands to search for remnants of explosives. Apparently, the Center for Disease Control’s recommended 15-second hand washing will not remove bomb residue.

As a nurse, I have manipulated my share of swabs. I have swabbed noses, ears, throats and other body parts (at an adolescent clinic) that would make Steven Seagal sob like a baby. But this airline swabbing method sounds expensive — and only fairly accurate.

Have you ever experienced in the medical field something called a false-positive test result? This is when a test of blood or urine or whatever other lovely bodily substance required is tested and the results come back positive. However, just because the test says it is positive does not mean it is really positive. Clear as mud, right?

Doctor Empathe: Willie, your blood tests have come back and I’m sorry to tell you, but they are positive.

Willie Beskratchin: (panic stricken) How long do I have to live, Doc?

Doctor Empathe: Well that all depends on the accuracy of this test. (flashing a smile) It could be a false-positive result. We’ll just keep taking your blood, charging your insurance over and over until we get a result that sounds like a winner.

Willie Beskratchin: So if the test was going to be inaccurate, why did we test in the first place?

Doctor Empathe: You wouldn’t know if you had this life threatening disease without testing for it! (He taps his shoulder reassuringly) Your nurse will be in to suck you dry of blood and she can answer any other questions you may have after I have leave the exam room. Take care now!

Same as in hospitals or clinics, false-positives can happen at your local airline. Security can insist you have strapped on a bomb while respectfully escorting you away from the public for interrogation — and whatever else they have planned for you.

However, there is a teensy tiny problem with trusting this swabbing test: if you have a job where you work with various fertilizers, or work with firearms (police, soldiers, bounty hunters) or are taking nitroglycerin for your heart — guess what — a false positive is in your future and so is the walk of shame.

My husband’s job makes him no stranger to the airports of the world, and since I am pretty sure I don’t want my husband blown up by someone’s underpants or sneakers, I am in favor of making the airlines as safe as possible. Swabbing his palms also sounds more enjoyable than, say, a full body cavity search.

So since security is going to take longer with the swabbing method, my thought is this: just as most airlines charge passengers for checking luggage, they should offer other services to help out the struggling airline business. If they are already swabbing hands and having to wait for results, why not charge for throat cultures or H1N1 nasal tests while you are waiting? They could check blood pressures and blood sugar levels for diabetics and passengers could decide if they should board the plane. Just a thought.

Stacey Hatton is a Pediatric nurse and freelance writer. Her blog can be found at http://nursemommylaughs.com.

Posted on Tue, May. 04, 2010 10:15 PM
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