Mother’s Day was a Blast…of Hot Air!!

Posted on May 16, 2012 by nurse mommy

I love my children more than anything, especially on Mother’s Day because the eldest, Munchkin #1, my almost 1^st grader-to-be assumes that the day means that she should lavish me with praise (correct), gifts (correct), hugs and kisses (correct), and never leave my side (**chirp, chirp, chirp…**).

My other daughter loves me just as much as the elder, but is a polar opposite breed. She is so far different from her sister she could almost be listed in the “mineral” family – if it weren’t for her brilliant comic timing and hyper-personality for diving into BARCO loungers to perform headstands 24/7. Munchkin #2 is prone to giving of the gifts (correct), hugs and kisses (correct), but then she snuggles for 10 minutes, tells a story and then makes her BIG exit. She is done. The rest is fluff!

So this year, the girls and my wonderful husband made me breakfast in bed, along with homemade cards, fresh flowers cut from our garden (I assume it was ours), and then Munchkin #1 set up camp in bed with me and during the next few minutes of bonding time with my cherished beauties, we talked about mothers and grandmothers. I told them stories about a gracious grandmother of mine who never used potty words and was so kind to others… and how everyone just loved her!

They then started asking about when I would be a grandmother and how that would work. I said they might have children someday MUCH later and I would then become their kids’ grandmother.

Munchkin #1 said dreamily, “I’m going to name my daughters Arianna and Marietta.” She seemed quite pleased with her choices.

Without missing a beat, Munchkin #2 blurted, “I’m naming mine Fart and Bacon.”

EXCUSE ME?!

“What did you say?” I asked, just in case I had mango juice filling up my ear canals.

“FART and BACON!” She beamed.

There are few times in my life when I am speechless or don’t have free advice to dole out; but a parent has to be careful handling these matters, unless you really want to introduce your future odoriferously-named grandchildren to your bridge group.

Well, if you can imagine a melodramatic 6 year-old girl’s bubble being burst, that’s what happened.

The older child flops back on the pillows, “MO-OM, you mean Fart and Bacon are going to be cousins with Arianna and Marietta?! Oh, great!”

(**chirp, chirp, chirp**)

Parenting Tale #234: Big Date Night and I Didn’t Even See my Husband

Posted on May 9, 2012 by nurse mommy

Did you ever have one of the best date nights of your married life, and embarrassingly you didn’t spend more than five minutes with your spouse? I know this sounds like the beginning of the end, but don’t you worry your pretty little heads, the Hubs and I are doing great and are in for the long haul…I want that 50 year anniversary picture in the paper and the gi-normous carrot cake where George Clooney jumps out of it!

So back to the hot date…recently my husband took my daughter to the Father Daughter Dance at her elementary school and I took my other daughter “out” for her evening of choice.

Starting with the only part I witnessed with the older child, I helped her get ready for her elegant evening event. We curled her hair (which I never do because I have seen that Toddlers and Tiaras show which just gives me the runs), but she wanted to do it so I obliged. We did a home mani and pedi and then found some jewelry which would accent her outfit. It was so much fun to watch her get excited for Daddy to get home from work to take her to her “ball.” Then they posed for pictures and left in the Honda carriage to meet a friend and her dad for the finest dining experience a Kindergartner could imagine…Red Robin. Nothing but the best for our little Princess!

All the while Munchkin #1 was preparing for her date night, I non-nonchalantly asked the little one what she most wanted for our special evening. It had been set in stone in the morning: “Hollywood red carpet affair” was her theme. How she came up with that, we will never know, but she is a creative child and we just go with it! Figuring I was going to dig out either my 1980s formal or my wedding dress to suit her imaginative demands, I purchased Hollywood stars to decorate the living room and streamers and we made a makeshift red carpet out of a red throw blanket.

Thankfully, no dresses appeared for either of us because she decided after her sister left that it would be MORE fun to have a Hollywood sleepover in our PJ’s! As long as Charlie Sheen’s name wasn’t mentioned, I was fine with this and a movie in PJ’s is right up my alley too! Such a bright child.

Of course her appetite is not as refined as the Kodak Theatre, so I didn’t have to have Wolfgang Puck cater our dinner last minute. She was very specific in her needs. Pizza Hut. Thin Crust. Cheese – This was the main course, to be followed by baby carrots and ranch dip. Very fancy! She then cleansed her palate with a delicate vanilla ice cream sandwich which perfected the dining TV tray experience in front of the big screen, while savoring her favorite movie – Over the Hedge.

“No one can burp his A-B-Cs better than Hammie (Steve Carrell).” according to this Pre-K girl. She’s makes a parent proud!

So that was my great date night…both girls fell asleep with big smiles on their faces. The youngest had traces of pizza sauce on her cheek and the Kindergartner was singing Y-M-C-A faintly while sliding off into dreamland. A night to cherish until the next date night when we switch partners!

**If you enjoy NURSE MOMMY LAUGHS, go on over to the left side of this screen, click on the “like” button for Facebook. I promise I won’t give you a shot if you do! Maybe a sticker or a lollipop… Thanks, friends.

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TAMING TEMPER TANTRUMS – SIMPLY kc Magazine

Posted on March 14, 2012 by nurse mommy

SIMPLY kc Magazine – March 2012 issue

TAMING TEMPER TANTRUMS

PARENTING: by Stacey Hatton

Do you have a screamer, floor writher, kicker, stomper, or a breath holder? Or are you really lucky and have a child who can throw a tantrum better than Paris Hilton or the cast of Jersey Shore? No doubt these episodes are challenging, but the facts are they are a prime time to educate your head-spinning youth on how to behave in public. And the earlier you get your child to understand what acceptable behavior is, the better off the teen years will be!

Origins

Sometime during the second year of life, tots decide whether or not Mom and Dad’s rules are rigid. They test boundaries and life gets louder and more frustrating for the entire family. Boys and girls are equal in their frequency and levels of tantrums, and there is no clear cut off for when they will cease. Depending on gene pool and behavior modification on the parents’ part, your children could have occasional or habitual tantrums! Young children don’t have the equivalent emotional control that (most) adults have, so kiddos display their frustrations, lack of verbal communication skills, and desire for independence via tantrums.

Prevention

The best way to avoid temper tantrums is to spot one coming and head it off. Sometimes they catch you off guard, but typically there are signs a meltdown is about to make a presence. Often if the child feels he isn’t getting enough attention, he will try various tricks. After all, why is it every time an urgent phone call comes in your perfectly behaved child will scream for all food groups and every item in the house which is too tall to reach? Distraction is an effective tool for moments like this. Pull out those reams of paper and crayons, or a handful of pipe cleaners to make into fun creations. Take their focus off of you and keep refocusing it on something else before they melt. It takes practice on the parent’s part, but it is an effective skill to master. Another way to prevent tantrums is to give the child control over small things. Love and Logic is a parenting model developed by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, M.D. which recommends offering choices. “Do you want to brush your hair first or brush your teeth?” Does it really matter which gets done first? No. But the child will feel as if their opinion matters. Also, knowing the limits of your child is important to preventing tantrums. If your child has missed their nap for the last three days, they are hungry and you need to go grocery shopping for the entire week, odds are your child is going to flip out during this trip.

Management

Staying calm and collected when your child is heaving toys off store shelves is difficult – but essential. “Having enough self-control for both of you,” says The Nemours Foundation, is the number one thing a parent must do during the tantrum. Two tantrums are not going to help, and that behavior is telling the child yelling is appropriate. Ignoring tantrums is suitable at times, if your child is in no harm to himself or others; but keep him in sight. “If a safety issue is involved and a toddler repeats the forbidden behavior after being told to stop, use a time-out or hold the child firmly for several minutes. Kids must understand you are inflexible on safety issues,” states Nemours. “Time-outs” are for more stubborn tantrums. Place the child in the pre-designated area. He should stay seated in the spot for the amount of minutes per year of age of the child. (i.e. 2 minutes for a 2 year old) After he has calmed down, the adult explains why he was placed in time-out and has him apologize for his actions. After a hug, he may get up from the time-out location. Grade–schoolers can be sent to their rooms to calm down from a tantrum. No time limits are necessary, but they shouldn’t leave their room until they have calmed down. This lets them practice their coping skills. Remember: consistency with house rules for all age groups is crucial.

Older Children Tantrum Tools

Here are a few tips for youth to help them channel their anger in a healthy manner:

Walk away from conflict – This can allow the child to refocus and calm down, without elevating their emotions.
Label emotions – Teaching your children to express their anger by using the words “I’m mad because…” is an effective model. It helps get their anger out and aids the parent in correctly understanding why the child is mad. Make sure to tell the child you are glad they shared with you.
Let anger out safely – Ripping up old magazines, or newspapers. If you have an artistic child, turning on favorite music and either drawing or writing about what is bothering them can be cathartic.
Increase physical activity – Children who have “hot” tempers might benefit from increasing their physical play. Outside play with friends, team sports, or anything to get them moving and releasing endorphins is a great stress reliever.

Consult Medical Provider if: (Nemours Foundation)

Tantrums increase in frequency, intensity, or duration.
Your child frequently hurts himself or herself or others.
Your child is destructive.
Your child displays mood disorders such as negativity, low self-esteem, or extreme dependence.

Stacey Hatton is a pediatric nurse, mother of two and freelance writer. You can find her humor blog at http://nursemommylaughs.com.

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What’s Your Poison?

Posted on March 24, 2011 by nurse mommy

In honor of National Poison Week, I thought it fitting to celebrate our own personal favorite poisons. What first comes to mind when you hear the word “poison?” Is it a fine crisp Chardonnay or the ever-popular 80’s cologne, Poison? Could it be the “American (hair) band,” Poison, or Alice Cooper barking raspy lyrics with the same shared title?

P o i s o n…

(dream music crescendos)

Imagine this: A couple get out of the house for a romantic date. Babysitter is sober, alert and appears sharp enough to make good decisions. You are so glad to be sans children and feel a sense of accomplishment as you close the door to the car and back out of the driveway.

Your special someone (insert name here) has a reservation at the swankiest restaurant in town and you are dressed to the nines.

“Your table will be ready in just a few minutes, Mr. (insert same name). You can wait in the bar while it is being cleared,” says the hostess flashing her youthfully white and perfect smile.
Feeling his hand on the small of your back, gently guiding you to the bar, you attempt to elegantly hike yourself up on a too high of a stool for the dress you are wearing. 1-2-3-and-a hoist! Looking around the bar, no one saw that. Good. Still looking radiant and sexy, and having completely forgotten about your children for several moments, a HAWT young stud bartender leans in close and whispers to you…

“What’s your poison?”

(music comes to a screeching stop)

Poison! I forgot to tell the babysitter where the number for Poison Control is! Did I put the lid back on the Tylenol tightly and return it to the shelf where the kids can’t get to it? That moron of a babysitter wouldn’t give the kids any medicines without calling first, would she? OMG…I haven’t checked the expiration date on the Ipecac lately!! What if it doesn’t work?!

“Ma’am? (pause) Do you need more time to order? I can get you a drink menu if you need…”

“I’ll take a Vodka and soda on the rocks – hold the soda.”

Turning to your date, “Honey, save my seat, I need to call the babysitter!”

Have a safe National Poison Week without any calls to Poison control. You can get the number for your area at: 1-800-222-1222 This will work ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES. For more information, contact the American Association of Poison Control Centers –www.aapcc.org.

Love & Logic: The Right Choice for your Family?

Posted on October 4, 2010 by nurse mommy

Previously printed in the KC Parent Oct2010~Nurse Mommy

by Stacey Hatton, RN

Ever overhear parents boasting of Love and Logic and wonder, “What is that?” Well, today is your lucky day! Love and Logic is a parenting behavior philosophy created in 1977 by Dr. Foster W. Cline and Jim Fay. Their method is still as popular today and is internationally respected.

Shawnee Mission School District’s Parents as Teachers program teaches Love and Logic to parents already enrolled in their program. Kim Schultz and Kathie Tope, who train parents of young children, demonstrate why parents need this education and how it can change family dynamics.

Q: What are the basic principles?

Kim:

That there are natural consequences for behavior– both good and not so good. When parents start this with younger children, poor choices are not as costly as they are for teens just learning. For instance, if an 18-month-old child throws food on the floor, he needs to wait until the next meal to eat again. But if instead of calling home, a teenager gets in a car with a driver who has been drinking, the price of that consequence is much greater.
You also give up a certain amount of control to meet your parental goals. If you want your toddler to get dressed, but she would prefer to stay in jammies, you can pick out two shirts and let her choose which shirt to wear. The parent controls which shirts are appropriate, but the toddler chooses which shirt she puts on.

Kathie:

Lastly, provide empathy before delivering consequences. Don’t react to child’s misbehavior with anger because the child focuses on your anger. By responding empathetically with the same short response, e.g., “How sad” or “Uh oh”, then administering a logical consequence, you help your child focus on the consequence of the behavior.

Q: Does Love and Logic build a child’s self-confidence?

Kathie:

Children will learn we all make bad choices and have to suffer the consequences, but we all get the opportunity to make different choices in the future. Hopefully, the child learns the benefits of making good choices and becomes confident in his ability to choose.

Q: When should a parent begin using Love and Logic on a child?