So after getting lunches prepared, backpacks checked, placing clean clothing out for kids and then reminding them for the ump-teenth time to put them on, I only had to get the teeth and hair brushed.
“Two minutes left to spare!” I announce proudly in my head.
“Mom, are you going to wear your jammies to school?” asks Munchkin #1.
“OH, NO! I FORGOT TO GET DRESSED!” I knew there was something I had missed!
After a quick glance into the mirror, I knew what had to be done. Camouflage! Not green and taupes swiped over my body, but the disguise of all motherhood disguises. The well-known, but never discussed…jammie cover-up.
So over my pajamas, I zipped up a hoodie to my neck, snagged a baseball hat for my squirrely hair, and to add a flash of style…some snow boots, and sunglasses! And in my best Hollywood starlet imitation, I dropped my head and the kids off at preschool, hoping I wouldn’t be recognized.
When I got home I texted my neighbor that I needed to look at her kitchen blinds so I could run my next errand. With a “come on over” invitation, I trekked across the yard and apologized for not dressing up for the impromptu get together.
I didn’t plan on staying there long, but when you have two moms that don’t come up for air often to talk to other adults, we couldn’t be stopped. I had grabbed a tape measure and my digital camera for the blinds, so both were in my pocket where my cell phone usually is parked. I didn’t realize the other objects in my hoodie pockets were leaving me UNREACHABLE!
So fast forward 20 minutes later, I say goodbye to my friend and see the city building inspector outside my house. I give him a friendly wave and before I can get to my driveway, the police show up. Yes, you read that right. Apparently, there was a shortage of crime in my town this morning because if you are a mom and don’t answer the phone within 15 minutes, city officials call the cops on you!
Apparently, since I had the garage door open – if you remember, I was only going to be gone for a quick second – was a misdemeanor. But this city employee must have been watching too many re-runs of Cops because he was a-feared this mom/nurse/freelance humor writer was in harm’s way. It’s after 10:00, do you know where your mom is?
After talking with the police officer and reassuring her there was no need for her presence, I ushered my new city friend in to inspect what he was ASKED to do.
“Don’t forget to call your husband at work. He’s probably worried,” hollers the officer before I close the garage door.
After a mild expletive, I ran into the house to find the phone and call my hubby who was “only around the corner.” How can this much action occur, when I just went next door for a couple minutes?
I’m sure you are relieved to know that everything turned out okay. No ticket. No slapped hands – just wounded pride and overly-worn and viewed pajamas.
My hubby later announced he was glad this incident happened because he now knows to get me a beautiful necklace for my nearing birthday. A Medic Alert bracelet. Ouch!!
Now where is my phone…?