Tag Archives: poop

You Think Bathtime is a Clean Time? (w05.12.10)

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Mostly bathtime at our house is a time of fun, splashing, and a wonderful creative outlet for our Munchkins.  However, it is not always the case.  There can be water fights, contests to see who can pour the most water on the floor and my personal favorite adding bodily fluids or contents into the tub.

I will never forget the first urination in the tub.  At least the Munchkin fessed up to it, but she and her sister were fine sitting in what turned both parents into screaming idiots and acting like fools. We tried to hose down the children and remove all contents of the bathtub and clean it out before we actually had to re-give them a bath.  Now urine is supposed to be sterile, unless there is an infection going on, but you just can’t convince this nurse that they could splash around in it before putting on their fresh jammies!

Now if you think “tinkle-tub-time” was disgusting, you should have watched us on “turd-tub-time” night.  This time, the responsible child at least tried to rectify (poor word choice?) her error.  When my husband looked up and found 2 nicely formed stool chunks in a plastic yellow cooking set, he hollered for help.  The offender was about to place the lid on the plastic skillet to hide her blunder, but she was caught.  Once again, the Harpo and Groucho entered the bathroom passing wet children around, getting buckets to remove all the toys for a serious cleaning involving bleach, and I think we used the entire bottle of body wash on the kids after we got the tub clean.

It is times like these as parents when we know we should remain calm and not raise our voices, but the anxiety and pure grossness of what was occurring to our kids was too much.  My husband stays much calmer than his counter-part, but COME ON!  EW!  I did have to take Microbiology in college and as an Engineer, he didn’t!!!

It probably was time for us to clean the bath toys anyway.  If you still have your baby bottle dishwasher case (the one you can place on the top rack of the washer and clean baby bottle parts), it is a great thing to put your bath toys in to get a good HOT cleaning.  Just make sure to squeeze out the water of the squirt toys before doing so.  My advice on this is…if a squirt toy is moldy, it’s gotta go!  It will go on a vacation to Ms. Recycle or Mr. Trash Bins house.

So happy bathtime to you all!  If you have infants, you have something to look forward to; if you have grade schoolers you are probably laughing at your past bath stories.  Aren’t kids hilarious?!  Gotta love ‘em!

©2010, Hatton. All rights reserved.

Potty Words: No Place at my Dinner Table…Kinda (W03.24.10)

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What is the fascination with preschoolers and potty words and why do they most frequently appear at the dinner table?  Why are potty words so funny?  And more importantly why do I, a mother in my forties, still chortle? Is it because children know they are not supposed to say those words and like to check their boundaries of the punishment world, or is it because truly all bodily functions are just plain funny?  I’m beginning to believe it’s the latter…

One would assume this common bond between young comediennes is only understood by humans. But I have seen monkeys and various other animals at zoos across the country do things with bodily fluids and SHRIEK for applause.

Everyone Poops, a picture book by Taro Gomi (Kane/Miller Books, 1993), is such a hit with adults and children alike that a friend of mine gives this book to every baby that is born.  Not GoodNight Moon, or Pat the Bunny, or that dreadfully popular creepy book about the boy who climbs on his mother’s lap and then as an adult, the roles are reversed, and the invalid mother is curled up on her son (Eww), but my smart and funny friend gives the “book of poo” and always inscribes the funniest and sweetest comments in the cover for the children to cherish over the years.

My children are doomed to find potty words funny, because my husband and I have not mastered the 1950’s TV traditional stern Mom and Dad face when reprimanding them for saying “poop” or “toot.”  We try to hide our smirks and then come up with a reason why it is not appropriate to say those words in public. “Make sure not to say that at school or church or in front of your grandparents…(no use making them laugh too!)”

So after numerous attempts to curb this behavior, involving time-outs, threatening no dessert (good idea if you want your kid to develop an eating disorder), and other choices I conveniently can’t remember for this posting, we decided to rename the “naughty” words.

Now the child can use his or her pre-curse words in code that no one can understand.  Everyone else just thinks they are cute and quirky.

Here is our list: (feel free to create your own!)

Poop = Roses

Pee or Peeps = eyeball

Toot= Pineapple

Butt= Mighty, mighty bottom

Barf= Blowing Crackers

So far our children haven’t gotten in trouble with our clergy or teachers, and we still have to occasionally remind them that the real potty words are unacceptable, but I think it is working pretty well!

Just last month when my youngest had an “accident” in the car, Munchkin#1 said, “Mom, (Munchkin#2) smells like roses!”  We had to pull over the van to locate diaper wipes to fix up her mighty, mighty bottom!

©2010, Hatton. All rights reserved.