Tag Archives: potty training

Frustrated Parent Whining Session – Part #1

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Why is it that things so easy seem to frustrate parents when their children can’t master the skill?  I effectively relieve my bladder every day and don’t leave urine at the base of the toilet.  I brush my hair without screaming like I’m on fire every morning.  AND I brush the fronts and backs of every tooth in my mouth twice daily without gagging, crying, or swallowing large quantities of toothpaste.  Can it really be that difficult?

I know it is the parents’ job to lovingly and patiently teach their children these seemingly mundane tasks, but REALLY?  Fighting over and over?  Give it up and join the rest of the party – give mommy’s ears a break!  I swear I’m going to lose my hearing by the time I’m 45 from all the high pitched “girl screams” (and these are much different than a boy scream).  Note to self: start clipping coupons from the paper for hearing aids specials.

Let’s start with hair.  One of my children has long straight hair which is easy to brush and style.  The other child has gorgeous ringlet curls that if you don’t brush them out daily, will rightly turn into dreadlocks.  Who of my two children do you think screams the loudest?  The Bob Marley child, right?!  No way, Mon! Easy, breezy cover girl flips out and runs from the brush.

Teeth:  When I was single and had nary a child in the home, I never once thought that brushing a child’s teeth would cause blood curdling screams and back arching.  Once you find the hiding child, you then must hog tie them (sweetly and calmly of course) and find a way to brush those pearly whites without perforating the roof of their mouth.  Not an easy task, but after doing this for over three years, we are starting to get a handle on it.

Do you think we floss at our house?  I’ll give you one guess.  Only if they are sedated and since that is illegal in Kansas, and I don’t want child services knocking on my door, we have opted to work on the flossing at a later date.

Now I have a beautiful segue to cross from toothbrushes to toileting.  How many toothbrushes have you thrown out because your child either dropped the brush into the porcelain bowl; or maybe even worse…on the floor surrounding the base of the toilet?  At least part of the water in the toilet is being replaced after each flush. The floor, not so much!  All you mom’s who have “sprinkler systems” at your house, and I’m not referring to those with a lush lawn, the tinkle and/or sprinkle just about does me in!

According to some not yet documented study, potty training is the number one reason for parents ending up in jail for abusing their kids.  Thankfully, I never got even close to this because I decided early on, when they were in utero, that I was never going to force the potty training issue.  If they went to prom in diapers, it was going to be their choice and I wasn’t going to lose sleep over this.

Little did I realize that just because the child is potty trained does not mean they have exceptional aim.  Now I know you are thinking, “Just be glad you don’t have boys!”  Yes.  You are right.  The sprinkle and drips all over the bathroom floor are minimal to what you parents of boys have, but if you are sitting on the toilet shouldn’t all of the urine be directed to the bowl?  How does a girl spray urine everywhere?

I guess being a parent is not only a teaching role, but educational for us as well.  I have learned more in the last 5 years than I have in the 20 years I was in college.  And I am ever so sure I wouldn’t trade my fabulous girls for all the toilet paper and toothpaste in the world!

© 2010, Stacey Hatton.  All rights reserved.

Chinese Method of Potty Training

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I thought today would be a good day to make some headway on potty training.  Still cold outside, no school, and needed a project for the day.  I had recently read a story about how the Chinese potty-trained their kids in the old days (maybe some are still doing it this way, but  I don’t have any hard or soft facts).  The Chines strip their children of all clothing and let them out and about the house and yard.  I thought this sounded interesting, especially since my child doesn’t prefer clothing in the first place.

I don’t have any answers yet on how this method will work out for us, but here is a photo of our success this morning.

For those of you who know a  nurse, you realize we tend to be a bit germ phobic, so yes that photo is a re-inactment of the true event.  After she showed me her prize, I whipped it up and removed all traces of her deposit.  This instant replay is indeed a rock, but is a close version of the real deal!  Staged poo for you…  ENJOY.

©2010, Hatton. All rights reserved.

Toddler Temper-Tantrums are F-U-N!!

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As many of you know…potty training is such a joy. My husband and I decided it would be far less stress to NOT dictate when our kids were to be potty-trained. Our oldest was trained at 3 years without any battles and without the stress I hear from so many parents. Forcing your child to be potty-trained by a certain time is as “out” as spanking is now a days. And if you have independent children (aka stubborn as all get out!), you know forcing just doesn’t work.

Our youngest (she is three) will “peeps” and “poo” (these are the correct medical terms) in the toilet when placed there and needs to go, but would rather “go” in her pull-ups instead of asking to go to the restroom. In the days of cloth only diapers, kids were floating like a buoy atop their wet diapers, which I’m sure wasn’t pleasant. I can’t remember that feeling personally, but can only imagine the discomfort. But with today’s wonderful wicking of the wetness, my kids don’t care if their diaper weighs as much as a small Yorkie. I would think the competition set by the older child would help us with our young one, but she isn’t into competing or even wanting to attend the game.

So today when we were at the library, formerly a tranquil place – that is until my children discovered it, my youngest decides to urinate in her Pull-up in front of the bathroom. She then announces to the patrons that she just went “pee-pee.” OK…fine. Pretty cute. Nevertheless, there are several problems with this scenario: ONE…she keeps repeating this announcement with the energy of a bullhorn and clarity of an operatic soprano. Minutes can feel like hours when it is your child. TWO…after she quits repeating her bodily functions, she decides the next thing to do is to scream comparable to a tornado siren. If you aren’t from the Midwest, just believe me, it is piercing. THREE…now I am always prepared for bathroom emergencies. This time, however, my supplies were in the car in the parking lot. No problem! I’ll just check out the books and return to the car for a quick change. This plan was not sufficient for my child who before this very moment could remain in a wet diaper all day. She decided that since she went “pee-pee” in the Young Adult book section, she needed to take off her clothing right there and change into a fresh pull-up in that same section. So the screaming started and continued while I tried to locate my library card, and then with the nimbleness that only adrenalin can suck away, tried to scan the truckload of books my children insisted on checking out. Of course the computer locked up and I couldn’t scan the last four books, but my child was a trooper and screamed all the way through the ever-patient librarian trying to assist me in a job that truly any sane person can do.

Just so you don’t think my child is a maniac and any different than any other three year old, she pulled it together when I suggested she could press the handicapped button that automatically opens the doors to the exit. She sucked up the tears, wiped them away with her parka sleeve and said, “Great Mommy! That would be fun!!” Tantrum #1 of the day complete.

©2010, Hatton. All rights reserved.