The other day I gave a talk in Kansas City to a group of mothers who were so similar, in that they loved their babies/children; yet they all couldn’t have been more different in their situations. I loved getting to know each and every one of them and wished I could take ‘em all out for a grand dinner and hours of talk about our kids, but the evening had to end because somebody had to take care of ALL THOSE CHILDREN!!! And there were a LOT of kids!!!
Later that night, I had a dream that I birthed a litter of children. Not all at once, granted. But my house was so full of kids that my eyes were bleary and reddened, my hair was frazzled and graying, and my uterus weighed so much that my belly hung a good 2 feet past my knees… It wasn’t purdy, people!
The following day when I awoke, all I was able to think about – other than my grossly enlarged uterus (of course) – was how some women can birth so many babies. I started envisioning how I would lug them all around to Target when my husband was away on business. Could I get curbside valet at Target? Or could I just have a standing order of Huggies, wipes and detergent waiting for me like the carryout parking place at Applebees? Just call in my order on speed-dial.
If I couldn’t get the stores to agree to this, would I be able to strap on enough of those Baby Bjorns to my body? One on the front, one to the rear; maybe one on each leg? Then just have the older ones hold onto a knotted rope and walk in a line everywhere we went. I mean this dream had me messed up and praising out for the two fabulous ones I have.
I guess I understand how some people leave their birth control up to their Higher Power, or how some people have baby fever; but at the birthing of my youngest, my Higher Power screamed in my ear, “You are OLD! Tie those tubes up, Lady!” Now you have to respect a command straight from the Heavens. I’m almost positive it was God yelling this to me. It was either the good Lord from above…or my husband, who was standing over my head during my c-section – Hubby’s voice is quite powerful and could be mistaken for deities if juiced up enough. Any hoo… I know we made the best decision…