Do you run to your mailbox every day promptly at three, and when finding no package, give a full roundhouse kick to the ‘ole federal neighborhood box? Do you raise your fist at the U.S. Postmaster as you drive by the post office and then sink down in your leather seats, in fear that maybe surveillance cameras are recording your behavior? Do your children wail when you speed away from the mailbox empty handed again as you bark out more false promises? If any of this sounds familiar, you just might be another parental victim of an Ebay toy scandal.
If you ever have the desire to educate your young children on how Ebay or “bidding” works…FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD AND PURE…DON’T!!!! Your life truly will never be the same. Teaching a child how to earn money and save up for a favorite toy is one thing; but whatever you do – do NOT let them pick out their toy on Ebay. You are asking for disaster, and one that could possibly turn your child into a neurotic, nervous, obsessive mess. That is a job for adults not a grade schooler!
This fiasco started when a young girl wanted a Polly Pocket Cruise ship exactly like her cousins. Not the one that is in the stores now, but the one that came out 2 years ago and is no longer sold anywhere, but by bored people on Ebay. Trying to talk her out of this purchase was not going to happen, so the worn down mother decided to turn this into a learning experience about cash flow and bartering.
The young girl did well with the bartering and came in with a low bid and won the item easily. Success! Now the lesson of patience was to be instilled. It would be 7-10 days before the item would arrive. This in the eyes of a 5 year old (which is similar to ‘dog years’) is close to the wait time of 33 years.
After 14 days, and no package, the mother emailed the seller to notify them that the shipment still hadn’t arrived. They appeared shocked and asked for the address. Odd, but verified the address. Now the child after day 8 or 10 started having nightmares, screaming out for the “cruise boat,” and started picking at her bug bites so that they would bleed all day long. Lovely!
Thirty days into what would soon be referred to as the “Ebay Disaster of 2011,” the child started telling every person she met repeatedly that she couldn’t do anything because she was so sad about the cruise ship. Can’t finish her work at school…the boat. Learn her dance routine…not today, the boat didn’t come in. The girl’s mother and father considered purchasing a real cruise ship – it would be easier and much faster, and perhaps calm down their child, if it came in pink.
Now at 45 days, the seller notified the buyer that the package had been returned to her. Apparently, the cruise ship had been ordered to take a Caribbean month long cruise and since the toy didn’t have hands or opposable thumbs, it couldn’t send an email or text to let us know.
Finally, the child is happy that the boat has been located and can be seen talking to God through her bedroom window every night discussing His plan for the BIG ARRIVAL. But all I can say is…just say no to your children every chance you get. If they want something mailed, or ordered or shipped or bussed in, tell them “HECK, NO!”
Believe me… you just can’t handle this kind of stress!
