So Mother’s Day is around the corner and if you are like me you are hitting your head on the wall and thinking, “Oh, GREAT another holiday which is supposed to be about ME, but I need to make sure I get all the gifts for every other mother in the free world, so I am not hated, shunned and kicked out of the will.”
Am I the only one feeling this? The guilt!!! Where art thou coming from?
No, really, I love gift giving. I’m a giver by nature. As long as I have a coupon, remember the date or give a flip about the person. Mother’s Day is another opportunity to spread the love to all the important women in my life; and for one day out of the year, have my husband make my cup of coffee in bed. *That was not supposed to sound dirty.*
Therefore, to help you with gift giving ideas for YOUR mother this year, I have done a little research and found some of the best gifts on the market. I hope this saves you some precious time finding the perfect gift for your type of mom.
Mom’s Favorite Child Mug – ($14.49) If you know your mother fits in this category, she probably has made you feel as if you are her favorite child. So why not remind her every morning at coffee? This mug is cuter than a bug and will bug your siblings to no end!
Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer – ($5.99) – Your mother who is always watching out for your well-being, will be delighted to receive this product on her special day. After all, you never know who has been playing with their “Jimmy” before greeting the church parishioners.
Go Girl – ($12.99) – If you have a mom who is worldly or the outdoorsy type, this next product is the cat’s meow! Just reach into your hiking gear, the glove box or your evening bag and pull out your rubber female urination device (aka girl penis). Then just drop trow, squat where ever you want, and your mom can now pee with the aim of a sharp shooter. (Available in camouflage or hot pink.)
The Funny Mom
The Wine Rack Flask Bra – Nothing says, “Mom, since I weaned off of you, you look like you could use a little inflating…AND a hit of wine!” You can get this for only $32.99!!
***I Just Want to Pee Alone – ($8.99) – Best-selling book in parenting humor on Amazon and iTunes is the PERFECT gift for any mother. 37 top mom bloggers co-authored this outrageous compilation of essays about motherhood and it will keep you laughing out loud. Oh, if you haven’t heard…I’m on page 121.
***This is the author’s favorite choice. Not only because she is in the book, but because every time you purchase one of these books, she will make money, which she is fond of. Just telling you the facts, Jack!
Here I am with the fabulous editor and co-author of the book, Jen (“just Jen”) of People I Want to Punch in The Throat. She is a savvy business woman and funny gal, but to protect my throat for the taping I used a flesh colored flotation device around my neck for this live TV interview on Friday, May 25, 2013.